Crazy Erect Mullet

Bizarro is brought to you today by the Anti-Mullet.

Here are three cartoons from the past week. In the first, we see a fine, patriotic American in a mullet. Hard as it is to believe, there are still people out there who wear their hair this way. That's fine, don't get me wrong, it's everyone's prerogative to wear their hair any way they like and far be it from me to ridicule someone for looking unconventional. But still, the mullet is a hideous hairstyle and inherently funny. To me, that is.

The next offering comes from my vast experience with therapists. They always give an emergency number you can call when they are out of town. I don't actually use therapists for emergency-style problems so it amuses me when they tell me that. But I understand people who do. If you're seriously suicidal or something, you'd hate to be on the railing of a bridge and find out the one person you trust to talk you down is on a beach in Barbados and can't come to the phone. Myself, I go when I'm having trouble making a life decision like breaking up with someone or changing jobs or something, so I can't see myself calling a surrogate and pleading for help. "Should I do it in a restaurant, or in her apartment? What if she starts breaking things?"

Lastly, we have an erectile dysfunction gag, which is always funny, as long as you aren't the Viagra taker. I have no erectile difficulties, so this is still funny to me. Or maybe I'm just pretending it's funny to me so nobody will know I have an erectile problem. Most of you will never know.