Friday, July 9, 2010

The Flood

Bizarro is brought to you today by Human Ingenuity.

Every thinking person has considered at one time or another how the world will end. By "the world" we always mean humanity, of course, as if the entire existence of the planet were about us. It is a common religious tenet that the world was created for humans but this self-centered idea is one that I believe to be born of ignorance and superstition.

I was indoctrinated with this concept, too, and believed it for most of my life; it's difficult to let go of things ingrained in us when we are very young. But acquainting myself with the body of knowledge about the earth and the universe that humans have gathered with our nimble brains over the past several thousand years, it became increasingly obvious that nothing could be further from the truth. We are but passengers on a ship along with millions of other species of plants and animals, all of which balance rather delicately upon each other.

There is also human arrogance in the idea that we will end it all with some amazing invention like the atomic bomb – killed by our own awesomely ingenious amazingness. Oh, the tragic drama of it all. In fact, it looks as though the end of us will be at the hands of a leaky pipe.

As T. S. Eliot said, "Not with a bang but a whimper."


Ronnie said...

Fucking brilliant, Dan. Painful, sad & brilling.
Ronnie Dale

patrick said...

I like the link to your "you are here" comic -- that is a great one!

Plan 9 Studios said...

Personally, I take offense with your statement that religion is just superstition.

I'm a huge believer in Jesus. I believe there is nothing more humble than the idea that the world was created just for me, that the most powerful being in the universe looks just like I do, believes what things I believe in, listens to my thoughts, is interested in what I have to say, grants my wishes when I ask, heals me from disease (unless I lose a limb; God knows when enough is enough) and protects me from bad things unless I deserve them.

I believe I'm loved unconditionally as long as I do exactly what the Bible says.

I believe that I can overcome a fear of death through my faith and I find great comfort in knowing that dying doesn't count to those who believe; that every one who dies (who shares my morales) gets to live in pure bliss while those who wronged me are sent to suffer for eternity. But I still love my enemies.

I believe all God asks for is allegiance and loyalty, but has a sliding scale program for those non-white people who live in countries without cable TV and may not ever have heard of Him.

I believe that, although God isn't subject to the same human weaknesses we are, He still has an incredibly fragile ego which we need to boost daily by telling Him how great He is, so He doesn't do anything mean or bad to us. Although when bad things happen, it's not God who did it to us, but our lack of faith. He doesn't have the power to stop those things, even though he is omnipotent, but definitely doesn't cause them. It's still probably a good idea to not be on His bad side.

All of these things I believe, give me great comfort when times are tough. When my Dad died years ago, I just knew Heaven would be so wonderful that he would enjoy nothing more than ignoring it by watching people left back on Earth, like some sort of personalized TV network. The mysteries of the universe and talking with Babe Ruth would be great and all, but he'd still want to watch everything I do (although he respects not coming into the bathroom when I'm alone), because I'm *that* important to him.

All of this, I believe is fact. It makes perfect sense to me and I'm dead sure that it would make perfect sense to people viewing my religion from the outside. And nothing I believe is anywhere remotely close to absurd, fabricated out of fear of the unknown, or born from my propensity to gravitate toward comforting lies.


ojeano said...

Augh, the irony, so perfectly presented...

I was gonna use the TS Eliot quote, but you beat me to it. It's been running through my head for oh, just about three months with a promise (already broken) to stop in August.

So, I give you Wordsworth:

Ryan A. said...

I love the links you add. They really add to everything you have going.

Anonymous said...

Humans can not rule the world--the true rulers of the world are cats. Nobody brings ME food and water and asks for nothing in return.

phardt said...

The apartment complex where I used to live had a few religious tenants. I found them really annoying, and yeah, you're right, they are pretty common, unfortunately.

Oh, wait-- you meant to say "religious TENET"... Ah, okay. Well never mind then...

Anonymous said...

'Plan 9 Studios'. Your post sounds like a joke, and I truly hope it is.