Bizarro is brought to you today by Roll Models.
A couple of readers just emailed me today to tell me that The Kansas City Star canceled Bizarro. This cuts me deep, my friends. If it's true, that is. Sometimes a paper will move my cartoon or change it from a panel to a strip, or vice versa, and readers just assume it is missing.
But if you're within arm's reach of a KC Star, please have a gander and see if Bizarro is absent and if so, write, email, or call them and express your loss of a reason to live. If you're calling from a payphone, threaten to take hostages – just make sure you get off the phone before they can trace the call and don't actually take any hostages.
I was born in Kansas City and my parents were born and raised there, as were many of my other relatives who still reside within its city limits. How can they do this to a native son? Was it something I said? Was it the atheist dog cartoon from yesterday? Was it my family's Mafia connections back in the 1920s?
I don't mean to put too much emphasis on this personal tragedy, but I shall wear black and refuse to cut my hair until Bizarro is reinstated in my hometown newspaper. Or until I get tired of wearing black and I begin to look like a homeless guy, whichever comes first. I encourage all of you across the globe to do the same. If we show our solidarity, we can beat this thing. Or at least start a Cure tribute band.