Saturday, October 10, 2009

Hugely Gigantic Behemoth

(Click on the image for a Gulliver-sized version to aim your eyes at.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Big Phones.

I normally post cartoons about a week after they appear in newspapers, so this one should have been posted last week. BUT, last week I posted the current date's cartoon so that readers could find out the answers to the Sunday Puzzler and this one got bumped.

When I was young, stories about Gulliver and his travels were favorites of mine. The idea of being huge in a land of tiny people, or being visited by a giant, was fascinating to me. (Although if given the choice, I'd rather be able to become invisible or fly under my own power than be impossibly huge.)

If you were the size of Gulliver – roughly the height of a 30-story building compared to the Lilliputians – you'd have to say goodbye to things like sexual relations and privacy of any kind. I can only imagine how the Lilliputians dealt with his bowel movements. The stench must have been like living near a commercial hog farm in modern-day America.

No idea who Gulliver might have been calling on his gigantic cell phone, but I like the image. I also like to imagine the Lilliputians playing with the apps by jumping around barefooted on the touch screen.

Until next time...Beware of carnivorous women.


Isaac said...

You don't have to imagine (on your own) what the Lilliputians did with Gulliver's poop. Jonathan Swift had such an excremental imagination that he did not leave this information out of the book.

I mean, it's written in language that would fly over the heads of child readers, but it's definitely there.

Anonymous said...

On the plus side, Gulliver's methane emissions could power entire towns.

Hailey said...

What. Is. That?! the BM sculpture? Oh Wow.
There is a lovely town called BM in (where else?) Nevada. While stopped there (Battle Mountain) once we had a smoking waitress, meaning, she was smoking a cigarette and then served us our order.

doug nicodemus said...

if you think about from a real level. considering the general filth and pestilence at the time...gulliver's travels was a pretty clean world...and hardly anyone eat.

i have to trust at least one carnivorous woman...i sleep with one..

Anonymous said...

These nymphos don't deserve to be locked up in a cage! It is shameful. Let them be free where they can do the most good.


Methinks J. Swift would've enjoyed this wee work....

Unknown said...

As far as the sexual relations-part goes, well, check out "Talk to Her" by Pedro Almodovar ( It's the reverse, size-wise, and once seen cannot be unseen.