Wednesday, January 23, 2008

National Pie Tragedy

As most of you know, January 23rd – today, unless my medication needs adjusting – is National Pie Day. Since I include a piece of pie in almost all of my cartoons and have done so for years, one would naturally assume that I would be a fundamental part of this great celebration. But I have been snubbed.

All across the land people are rejoicing, families are gathering and giving thanks, congregations are praying, school children are singing about pie. But not one word is being uttered about Bizarro, which celebrates pie not just on a single day in January, but all year long. I wasn't asked to ride in a parade atop a pie made of geraniums, I wasn't interviewed by USA Today, I wasn't a guest on Larry King Live. I wasn't even called by some corny morning DJ to talk live on the air about what this day means to me. Instead, my wife and I will celebrate quietly in our tiny Brooklyn apartment with our two cats and a half-dozen (vegan) pies.

I blame capitalism. Greedy retailers have taken all the meaning out of National Pie Day and turned it into a money-grubbing orgy of merchandise and services. What once was a meaningful celebration of a time-honored staple in every person's life, has become another way to line our pockets with soul-draining cash and fill our homes with useless baubles and electronic gizmos to distract us from the real meaning of pie.

Let us not forget on this special day, that pie is not about cash and gifts and merchandise. It's about flaky crust. It's about juicy fruits and syrupy goodness, shared with family and friends. It's about the bounty of Mother Nature's Bosom, flowing forth with fruits and vegetables and grains, captured at their paramount in a round, portable disk of life-giving flavor.

Without pie, we would be nothing more than a nation of cartilage-gnawing barbarians.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Live Comedy Show! (No dead guys)

Next month, February '08, I'll be making an increasingly rare stage appearance at San Francisco's legendary Purple Onion. I'm not doing the full-on "Bizarro Baloney Show" as I did last time I was there in '06, this will be more of a regular stand-up comedy show.

A brilliant comedian named Johnny Steele will open with a 30-minute set that will hurt you. This guy is drastically, fall-down, pee yourself, sore-stomach-muscles-the-next-day, pray-for- the-apocalypse funny – just the sort you would never want to follow onstage. Then I follow him with an hour set of my own.

My built-in excuse for not being as funny as Johnny, though, is that I'm not really a stand-up comic. I'm a cartoonist who occasionally does stand-up. If Johnny ever wants to challenge me to a drawing contest, then we'll see who the lame-ass pretender is. But on February 22nd, I'll be the lame-ass pretender, so come watch if you're in the area. It's a small venue and will sell out, so get your tix now, mon ami.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Refugees Unite!

Badly designed, impossible to navigate, ugly, loud, depressing, reeking of death. How did this beast that is eating the fabric of our civilization and puking it up on the shoes of our future achieve such popularity? I might be talking about the Bush War, but in this case I'm referring to MySpace.

I had a blog on MySpace for a while and it made my colon throb. And not in a good way. So, at the helpful advice of many of you, my readers, I abandoned it like the religion I was raised in and moved over to Blogger. I pray to the multitude of gods I no longer believe in (proud atheist) that it treats me – and you – well.

The groovy photo below is of me the night I met Dennis Kucinich and his wife, Elizabeth. I am a fan of his philosophies and politics and was thrilled to discover he has been a fan of my cartoons. (We're both ethical vegans) He's very charming and affable and I gave him one of my new books. I always pull a wagon full of books behind me in case I meet someone I admire.

More in a week or so. Hope you like the new blog and please tell your friends, family, and enemies all about it!