Punny

(To see this cartoon in all its large, detailed glory, click the caveman's over-hanging brow.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Reader Appreciation.

Here is number 12 in my occasional series of "Sunday Punnies." If you missed the first 11, click here.

The deal is that readers send me their puns and I use some of them for these kinds of cartoons. If you've got a pun that you think might be good, post it in the comments section of this blog or email it to me. My email address can be found on Bizarro.com. Please don't abuse it, its feelings get hurt rather easily.

Rules and notable things:
1. You get no compensation other than the delirious thrill of seeing your idea in the funnies.
2. Tell me what name you want me to sign it with if I pick your pun.
3. It has to be original. Don't be sending me no dang thang you heard at the beauty parlor or on the Interwebs.
4. I will not post the puns that people leave in the comments section, so don't expect to see them listed there and don't be afraid to leave me your name or email or whatever. I'm good at keeping secrets.
5. If you are Joe Flacco, don't bother leaving a pun, I won't use it. You and your Baltimore Ravens knocked the Kansas City Chiefs out of the playoffs and upset my dad.

That's about it. Any time you have a couple minutes to spare and want to LOL outloud, I hope you'll drop by this blog. I post 3 or 4 times a week and feature new cartoons, old ones, odd videos, funny pictures of me and my clan, and peculiar musings from the inner recesses of my brain goo. Thanks for stopping by.

To see some of the past Sunday Punnies, click here. For real this time.

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Holiday Gone

(click the image for LARGERNESS)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Glad It's Over.

I had a dandy holiday weekend, hope you did too. CHNW and I went up to Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary to hang out with a small group of our best friends, ate, drank, napped, hiked, watched movies, regretted having eaten and drank so much, then ate and drank more. On the way home on Sunday, we were nearly trapped in the blizzard that hit the Northeast Coast and only barely made it home.

Thinking back to Hurricane Katrina and the number of wingnuts who claimed that god hit New Orleans with that storm to punish the gays, I can't help but believe that this year god chose to hit one of the most populated areas in the world on one of the busiest travel days of the year to punish those of us who celebrate Christmas. Following that logic, I'd have to say that it is not a Christian god that is in charge of weather. Where are the wingnuts now?

The cartoon above has three puns donated by readers. If you think you've got an original pun that might work nicely in a future Bizarro Sunday Punnies, leave it in the comments section of one of my posts. I don't publish these suggestions, whether good or bad, so don't be alarmed if you don't see your suggestion in the comments section later.

Semi-interesting note about the cartoon above: I send in each cartoon in several different sizes and formats for the various uses that my various clients use variously. In one of them, the one used for the Interwebs, I mistakenly put "Lone" Ranger, instead of the punnier, "Loan". So if you saw the one that says "Lone Ranger" on the web somewhere, that's why. I told you it was only semi-interesting.

Got to get back to removing snow from my various orifices. Hope to be seen by you here tomorrow!


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Sunday Punnies # 10

(For a larger view of this comic, click on the ostrich's beak)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Unexpected Crime Waves.

If you are reading today's blog, there is a decent chance you read the fine print in my Sunday Punnies #10 cartoon that published today. Welcome! If you can hear the sound of my voice, adjust your computer and examine your meds. I'm not talking.

Here are three puns that were generously contributed by three different readers, whose names appear in microscopic print at the bottom of each panel of the triptych. Of course, they didn't do all the work. I figured out brilliant ways to portray them graphically or tweak them with additional dialogue, and I auditioned the thousands of actors it took to find the cast that would best represent the hilarity intended by M. Kaskel, Bill G. and Witte.

If you've got an idea for a pun, leave it in the comments section of any post on my blog. I don't publish the pun suggestions, so you'll never see it appear here, but rest assured that I am reading and considering each one. Don't forget to leave me an email address if you'd like to be notified of the date your pun will appear in Bizarro (should I choose it) and what name you'd like to appear on the panel. First or last and an initial is the most I can use, no full names allowed.

IMPORTANT: You'll receive no payment or compensation for participating. All you get is the glory and giggles of seeing your submission in print.
WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR: Original, unexpected puns. Please don't send things you've heard or read elsewhere.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER: If you incur an injury while typing a pun to submit to Bizarro, it isn't my fault and I'm not even going to dignify your lawyer's accusations with a response. You must be 18 to vote, but you can submit a pun to me at any age. I really don't care. You need not be present to win, because you're not really winning anything and, after all, who among us is truly "present"? I mean besides Oprah.

Thanks so much! Hey, as long as you're here, click around on some of the other posts and see if you like what I'm doing. Don't miss the blue links, they're funny pictures!

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SUNDAY PUNNY

(click on the image above to make it like a big thing)

GOT AN IDEA FOR A SUNDAY PUNNY? LEAVE IT IN THE COMMENTS SECTION OF THIS POST!

I'm looking for puns I haven't heard before, things that are unusual, odd, and most of all, funny. I can't use all the ones people send in, but I appreciate every entry, so give it a shot. Please keep in mind that you will not receive any compensation for the joke and that I'll own the copyright to it once it is used. If you want to have a little credit line at the bottom, tell me what to use. Nothing too long, please!

Thanks!

SUNDAY PUNNIES

(To see this picture get big, click on Vincent's Nose)

I usually post cartoons on this blog a week after they've appeared in the paper, but today's cartoon is LIVE. Yes, unbelievable as it may be, the cartoon you see here is the exact one that appears in papers all over the world right this second! Thank you, Thomas Edison!

This Sunday Punny is #8 in the series (click here to see earlier ones!) If YOU have a pun that is original and interesting, leave it in the comments section of this blog and you may see it in the next edition of Bizarro's Sunday Punnies! You may notice that in the bottom right corner of each of these frames is the name of the reader who sent in the pun. At this very moment, George, Devine and Barry are being carried through their neighborhoods on the shoulders of worshiping crowds to be crowned as supreme ruler of all they survey for life. This could be your future if you've got an interesting pun!

And thanks to George, Barry and Devine for making this particular Sunday so golldarn special!

Sevenly Puns

(You can make this cartoon big and pretty by clicking on the second violinist's hair bun.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Puns.

I'm off to Woodstock in a few minutes for our June Jamboree, so I don't have much time. Here is the seventh of my Sunday Punnies series. If you want to see your pun in the paper, send it to me via email (see Bizarro.com for addy) or leave it in the comments section of one of my blog posts. It must be original – I don't want to do puns that have been floating around the Internet or whatever, you dig? And you must be willing to donate it free of charge, no strings attached.

Gotta hit the highway, kids. Be groovy.

Sunday Punnies #5

(Click the image to engorge with size)

Bizarro is brought to you today by 24 Hour Party People.

Look, boys and girls, just above the lettering, it's another edition of Bizarro's Sunday Punnies! I think this is the fifth or sixth one I've done in the ongoing series. (If only there were some way to keep track.)

I didn't get a chance to post a Sunday cartoon over the weekend, so here's one now. As I've mentioned before, the majority of the puns from this series are from readers. People send me lots of puns but I rarely think they are worthy of a stand-alone cartoon. My Sunday Punnies series is a fun way to include them in a bonus pack of punnery. So send your puns now! They must be original (you didn't get it from another cartoon somewhere) and you must acknowledge that you will get nothing in return for your donation, other than a wink and a hearty thank you from yours, truly. But isn't that the true spirit of giving?

You can't imagine the fun of opening the Sunday Comics (or the Internets) and seeing your idea illustrated in full color by a legendary comics icon such as myself until it actually happens! Even then, you'll have to pinch yourself to be sure you're not dreaming!*

*The author of this blog does not accept responsibility for any injury or disfigurement resulting from the pinching of readers. If you feel you may be at risk of somnambulistic self-mutilation, experts recommend wearing mittens to bed.

Sunny Sunday Punny

(To view this image more big, click on the left eyeball of the seventh clone getting out of the car.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Freaky Science.

Here's another of my Sunday Punnies series, which is a collection of three puns mostly submitted by readers and friends. If you have an idea for a fun pun and would like to see it in Bizarro with no compensation whatsoever other than the fun of seeing your idea in print, send it to me. The puns need to be original in that you didn't see it in another comic or on the Internet or whatever. And you should be aware that most of the ideas people send are not accepted because I'm looking for something of a certain type and style that I find both unusual and interesting visually. If all that makes sense to you, submit away, what have you got to lose?

You can either send them to me in the comments section of one of my blog posts, or via email. My address is at Bizarro.com.

By the way, the comics that get credited are from close friends or colleagues as a special favor, in the past I have not been doing that for everyone. But my new policy will be give a small credit line – like the "w/Brandt" above – for anyone whose idea I use for a Sunday Punny. Weeeee!

Pun For The Whole Pamily

(If you want to see some big cartoon in front of your face, click the chocolate head's pipe)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Awesome Possibilities.

Here's the third in a continuing series of puns. I like unusual puns but don't often think of them, so the vast majority of the ones you see in this series are donated from friends or readers. If you think of an original pun, send it to me via email (found on Bizarro.com) or as a comment on my blog. If I think it might make a fun gag, you may experience the ecstasy of seeing your idea in the Sunday comics. But keep in mind, that's the only compensation you'll get. It's not a paying gig, it's just for giggles.

The most challenging thing about the ones above was rendering the college professors in chocolate. It was a bit harder than I thought it would be. I wanted to make them dark enough to look like chocolate, but not so dark that they looked like globs of motor oil. Also, without the mortarboard caps, there would be nothing to identify them as academia so I had to include that on each one, which crowds the box and adds a level of confusion that wouldn't have been there otherwise. In the end, I think it works well enough.

Drawing feet from a jillion different angles was no picnic either, but I've always been pretty good with anatomy, so it wasn't a nightmare.

Until Monday, "Keep a song in your heart and a dagger in your teeth." --Doris Day

Puns of Steel

(Why not click the image and make it bigger?)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Attack of the Condom People.

People occasionally submit cartoon ideas to me via email and puns are the most common sort I get. Puns are too easy so I'm not fond of using them in Bizarro unless they are particularly original or facilitate a funny picture. Still, there is often something a little unsatisfying about a pun and I don't want readers to feel cheated, so I recently decided to save them up and occasionally use the best ones in groups of three on Sundays.

In this installment, I think the two on the right are easily good enough to stand alone. The one in the middle was suggested to me as "Hell's Anglers" instead of "Angels," with some bikers fishing. I added the caption at the bottom. The one on the right was conceived and written in its entirety by my friend and occasional collaborator, Cliff Harris, who also came up with the Sunday Puzzler from a few weeks ago. Cliff is has a strange way with language. The "Martial Arts" gag came from a reader but I don't remember in what form. It's not a particularly original pun, but it warrants a funny picture.

If you have what you think is a great pun (unusual, funny, unexpected) and you'd like to see it in a future Sunday Punnies, send it to me: piraro@earthlink.net. It MUST be original (in that you thought of it yourself, didn't hear/see it somewhere else) and you must agree that if I draw it, you won't get compensation or credit (other than blog glory!) and I'll own the copyright. I'll send you some trading cards or an autographed print of the cartoon or something, though.

Until tomorrow, thanks for learning to read. It makes you so much more fun to write for.

Spock Impressionist

(For making it bigger, you can click the image anywhere except on the green culottes.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Inappropriate Hair Gel.

People send me cartoon ideas all of the time and every now and then I'll use one. The most common thing for people to send me is a pun and although obvious puns make me groan as loudly as most, I like the strange ones. But even most of the strange ones are somehow not weighty enough to warrant a cartoon by themselves. So I've decided to start saving the ones I like, or that I can make into something I like, and use them on a semi-regular basis on Sundays under the heading "Sunday Punnies." This is the first one, the second one will appear in papers on October 18th of this year.

Some of the puns will be mine, some will be ones sent in some form by readers or friends. Either way, hope you likey real big.

Until tomorrow...stand tall and proud, unless there is a comfortable chair available.