Sunday, July 12, 2009

Personal Hell

(Make the Cartoon BIG by clicking the devil)

This episode of Bizarro is brought to you by Rainy Day Fun.

My version of hell would be to stand in line to audition for a reality TV show. Standing in line for anything for more than ten minutes is grueling, add to that the sort of delusional would-be "stars" that a show like American Idol most certainly attracts and you've got a party only Lucifer could imagine. I have no idea how the show works, but I'm guessing that tens of thousands of people try out each year and the vast majority of them are less talented than my cousin Ricky, who had his accordion taken away by the local city council.


Dave Stratton said...

You could probably make a very good living just customizing this one comic for various people.

"This is nothing compared to that project review meeting at Motorola."

"This is nothing compared to that year I spent playing bass on Billy Joel tour."

"This is nothing compared to the three years I spent being married to Janice."

You get the idea. Brilliant. Enjoy your retirement, you lucky bastard.

Susan D-L said...

My version of hell is being made to watch any reality shows--or any television normally broadcast between 11pm and 7pm. Hell, TV, period.

But standing in line for American Idol definitely ranks up there in the Awfulmeter.

Karl said...

I can't imagine much worse than standing in line 72 hours waiting for an American Idol audition; unless of course, it was having to watch 72 hours of American Idol.

Anonymous said...

Side note: your demon makes me smile, and I can't quite figure out why.

RSJ said...

Yes, according to my Significant Other, it is unendurable hell waiting for those auditions.

Years ago, she stood in a long line to audition for a competitor of American Idol. The ad clearly said they were looking for 'all ages' and professionals were welcome, yet most of the auditioners were 20-something amateurs. Most of all, the majority were nails-on-a-blackboard terrible.

My SO has over 20 years experience as a singer, songwriter and guitarist, and a trained voice. While the judges all said she was very good, she didn't make the show.

After spending most of the day in long lines, she was told confidentially by one of the producers as she was leaving, "I'm sorry you wasted your time, dear. We aren't looking for older accomplished people; we're looking for younger performers the audience can laugh at or identify with; it doesn't really matter how good they are."

If it weren't some circle of hell, they might have quietly told her that earlier.

Then again, this was before the odd Susan Boyle phenomenon, so things may have changed.

David said...

Very apt. I love it!

Anonymous said...

free idea . transformer idol, tinman failed attemped at audition

Phoenician said...

I have to admit -- I used to think that I was good at waiting in lines, but when I attended the 56th Presidential Inauguration last January . . . I nearly lost it.

Maybe it was the being in line from 4 AM to about 11:30 . . . (and I that there were folks that never even made it through, and even more so, have suffered longer waits than that) . . . but that cramp, frozen, and never-ever-moving line almost got the best of me.

A lesson in humility . . .

RSJ said...

Only tangentially connected to the subject, I read that Elvis Presley, presumably while still among the living, once entered an Elvis Impersonator Contest in Memphis. Of course, he wore a disguise and signed in under a fake name. EP was somewhat miffed that he only managed to come in third. As a joke, he kept the little plastic trophy in a place of honor on his mantle.