Bizarro is brought to you today by Lethal Lingerie.I'm not one to poke fun at people who are different, deformed, or disabled, but three-headed people always make me giggle.
I often wonder which position I would want if I was part of a tri-noggin organism. The outside positions would have slightly more privacy and better access to the nearest arm, but the middle position would feel a natural authority, balance and inclusion in any conversation.
In the negative category, the middle would have no privacy whatsoever and might be prone to feelings of claustrophobia, as well as being caught literally in the middle of any arguments between the outer two. The outer positions could feel excluded if the middle and opposing head spent too much time conversing, or should decide to keep secrets. An additional drawback of the middle head would be having to wait your turn for certain tasks like brushing your teeth or shaving, as the outer heads would presumably have the option to service themselves first.
But another positive for the center melon would be protection from objects approaching from the side, a definite advantage in a bar fight.
One also wonders who controls singular tasks like bending at the waist, sitting, breaking into a run, etc. If an outside head tries to sit without telling the other two, one imagines the body falls to that side as the leg bends. If he should decide to run without alerting the others, he might well run in a circle. But what if the middle head attempts to bend over quickly, as when dodging a flying shoe at a press conference, for instance, and the other two are unaware of the attempt? Does the middle head give itself whiplash?
So many questions, all answered in the upcoming autotriography. Pre-order yours now.
15 comments:
I loved this one. I know you get a lot of complaints when you use puns, but I love them.
Hah, very nice.
I always wondered, If the outside heads each ducked in a different direction, where does the center head go? Also, how often do they knock heads when riding in a roller coaster? Lastly, do they pay the hooker for one session or three?
shipping troll,
I assume the middle had would duck down forwards.
One penis, one session.
Wouldn't it be terrible to have one of those types of heads that enjoys telling the same story over and over again? It would be like; "Hey we've heard that story a hundred times. Don't you remember, we were there!"
Dan,
I'm wondering if you have any comments on the attack on the cartoonist who made the controversial comic of police officers shooting an chimpanzee while saying "They'll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill?"
Do you feel the cartoonist went too far? The editors at the paper made a poor choice? Critics are looking for something that isn't there?
KtM - That would be terrible. Kind of like reading a blog were someone is saying the same thing over and over again, in post after post, day in and day out.
hey iseedto check out my newest post youll see the original original of the 20th////
oh what a suprise many bloggers like this cartoon
I liken the head in the middle to the worst seat on a plane. I'd prefer one of the "aisle" heads. Or is that the "we'll" head? Whoops, another pun.
derek:
Thanks for posting your version as well. Though I thought I knew what the punch line was going to be, yours surprised me and I still laughed.
Once again piraro has been the man since 1986 ..i remember seeing bizarro when it was first with chriooncile feautures ..in fact i remeber opening upa 1992 writers market guide and seeing what was listed and what was wanted
under chronicle features which is in san fran as i remeber it said currently syndiacrtes bizarro..
with that being said again a 19 year old no one like myself at the time is still flattered to have been a chosen one later on in bizarro world
and if i come off as a spoiled bastard whos not appreciative thats not even close to the case..
im just quick tempered and ocd..
also i can take abuse as much as the next guy and i like to entertain myelf and others albeit at the expense of someone else
once again im a 35 year old 350lb man living with mom i have nothing to lose or hide
but i possess the ability to whip up stupid jokes and hope to continue to do so
i just got back from lincoln downs twin rivers that is in lincoln, ri...dropped $160 on the matinee
and thats about as close to a public apology as i give to anyone
i saw this cartoon three times and did not get the triography part until you blogged it. thanks
I thought claustrophobia was something to do with a fear of Santa Clause. Was I wrong??
This is disturbing to me. Notice that their heads are not identical. If this were a congenital defect (identical triplets that failed to separate), they would be identical. The fact that they aren't can only mean one thing. Two of the three heads were surgically attached to a single body. What madman would do such a thing?
Perhaps it was justified to save the two additional heads whose bodies were failing -- but did the base head/body guy consent to this? If so, he is a bigger man than I.
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