Sunday, February 22, 2009

Greek Freaks











(Jonesin' for a bigger picture? Click it like a red-headed stepchild.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by
Zeus, King of the Gods.

What man wouldn't want to be a centaur? You'd have all of the benefits of a human upper body – dexterity, human intelligence, a good place to hang a nice shirt – plus all the benefits of a horse's entire body: speed, strength, majesty, great kicking, hung like a...

You'd have an advantage in almost any sport (exceptions: skiing, snowboarding, cycling, auto racing [not really a 'sport', per se, in my opinion] skydiving [not a 'sport' either], hockey, soccer, pole vault, diving, swimming, bowling [not a sport], tennis, racquetball.) Okay, you'd have an advantage in a few sports like football, basketball, kickboxing, baseball [maybe], and all running events. But even without sports, it would still be so cool to be able to gallop like a horse, tower above crowds, and kick the crap out of anyone who made "horse's ass comments."

Being a satyr would not be as much fun, maybe no fun at all. I can't think of many advantages of being part goat. I like goats, I just don't want to be one. Yes, satyrs have a tremendous sexual appetite and sex is often considered fun, but how many women are willing to throw down with a goat?

And pretty much nobody would want to be the third brother. No advantages there whatsoever, unless you're just really into pecking. I think that guy would need a centaur brother just to keep him from getting the stuffings beaten out of him.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

There is some serious beastiality and hybridization going on here....And I'mth first comment!!!

John said...

I thought it was comic beastiality and hybridization.

guy who trapped monkey girl said...

I don't remember George Clooney being a Borg? Learn something new.

The satyr would be great in Cricket plus if you were famous or rich (ok just rich) you would get the ladies (or guys if you swing that way) no matter what you looked like. Look at anyone with the Stones... tail city.

derekamalo said...

derek malo no longer posting bitter or passive aggresive :)

good to see your alive and well...i liked todays sunday comic as well as last sundays when i posted on your link

how you mangae to get all the clocks looking the same was great

thedanmancan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
thedanmancan said...

well the third brother could get "chicks" if they were into "heavy pecking".

shipping troll said...

The 3rd brother may not be hung like a.... but at least he can say that he always has a hard pecker.

KtM said...

The mother looks like she's pure bread human, so you gotta put two and two together and figure hubby was out of town a lot while mom tended the farm.

Prospero said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Artillery MKV said...

I like the cartoon, but I'm terribly puzzled as to why they named that rim Zeus. It doesn't seem Grecian or in any way related to myths about Zeus, not even the easy lightning bolt image.

Heck, I have no need for new rims, but if they'd managed to portray Zeus as a shower of gold I might have been tempted. And who wouldn't want rims with sacred bulls as a center spinner?

doug nicodemus said...

ok this blog is becoming invaluable...it wasn't until i "made the picture bigger" that i realized it was a chicken boy...i was having a hard time understanding the cartoon because in smaller form and my old age i saw it as a "headless boy"...i struggled with that...

Writer said...

So have you seen the TV commercials of the centaur taking a shower??

Robert Finis said...

You forgot polo.

Dave Stratton said...

Awesome.

Fran said...

Let us all close our eyes and imagine the fits that Dan Piraro would throw if his syndicate censored his comics to the degree that he is censoring this blog.

Glenstorm said...

Getting for a moment back to the desirability of being a centaur, there is a whole sub-culture of people who have a fetish for 'em. I have to say that, among that bunch, at least, it's really more about the idea of being less than completely human. It's largely about being able to laugh at "hew-mans" as if not one. There's something strangely attractive about being able to mock one's species. And yes, there are the advantages of having an equine lower half, but I really don't think that's the primary attraction.