Friday, February 13, 2009

Heroes and Villains

Bizarro is brought to you today by Tiny Pediatricians.

This idea came while watching a football game and inking cartoons one afternoon. The female sideline reporter (almost all sideline reporters are female these days, someone must have passed a law) was interviewing a player and he was much taller than she, of course. But it suddenly occurred to me that she was holding the microphone up over her head to reach his face. Try it yourself right now. Imagine interviewing someone so much bigger than you that you have to hold the mic up over your head, as though pointing it at a light fixture on the ceiling.

And keep in mind these are not skinny, tall guys. These guys are HUGE. Their hands are bigger than your head. When you see someone that big in person, it almost seems as though they are a different species.

If only American football had been popular in Frankenstein's time, the monster could have worn a uniform and he would have been adored, instead of chased down by a mob and killed.

I think we've all learned an important lesson today.


Nobody said...

Technically, the Creature kills himself in the Arctic after D. Frankenstein dies. That part doesn't usually make it into the films though.

Jeremy said...

Well Dan, I am glad we are back to your ideas. I have to say I'm not as big a fan of the other people you get ideas from. I composed a poem about it. Like to hear it? Here it goes:

When you get an idea from Capazolla, it is usually crapolla.
When you get an idea from Cabeza, he was probably drunk on cervesa.
When you get an idea from Malo, it is usually funny but shallow.
When you show cartoons from Ces,
they are horrible this fan says.
The rubbish week as we now know,
is the week when you used Francesco.
But when the cartoon comes from Dan,
He proves that he's the man!

I was going over some of your recent comics and I noticed some real stinkers from Capozolla. Like your cartoon from Jan 20th. Why would you want to insult 1/12th of the population based on something they have no control over? I guess you are hoping that no Scorpios read comics or something? Very risky!

derekamalo said...

hahaha dude i came to this post 4 tmes yesterday and no dan i clicked on when i first got on line now i seen its been busy


i think whe the new year struck dan flushed a lot of 2008 down the toilet ..the past is the past i guess..


i can live with that... you said i was funny which is all i aim to do

in case you hadnt notice i was yesterdays bizarro and if you click that milwaukee link on his site you will see his gag made the top ten and so did the 26th and 29th gags also malo inspired and tomorrows will to of course ..

if your basing the 4 of us on the 10 percent he doesnt write..its important to know where we stand

the piraro-malo connection...its an interesting bond and one i can continue to live with ..

i think its funny when dan refers to me as his mysterious e friend cause thats pretty much what it is ..ive been writing to dan consistently since nov. 2007 ..

we never ever met... never even spoke on the phone

i send him about 10 to 50 jokes he tell sme what he likes which passes as a bizarro and adapts it ...every few months i get a letter from dan with the origianls mailed to my house

the leters dan sends to me via email are usually no longer than three lines like this like that the end..

thats a bond ilm willing to live heres a scernerio number two


i have many relatives who live in the ny borrough of greenwich,darien,weston,new canaan...

.while on one of those visist i call piraro up whos listed in the phonebook

and say dude it would be cool to meet wanna meet me at the brooklynn deli for a coffee or two ..

dan not wantng to upset anybody shows up..

dan arrives cool as hell

me i order a roast beef,turkey and cheese,bacon and ham packed wrap and eat it on front of him then go up to get a second..

my view on vegans well notta

i tell dan my grandfather rubbed people out and dads in hiding dan notices my arms as big as my head as i crap on francesco

see the problem here

the next time i send letter to dan in email im blocked or dan suddenly doesnt want to reject 50 comics and starts taking weak weak jokes like real crapolla

keeping people at arms length is important ..meaning when dan picks my work out he sees dozens upon dozens

if ...

we turned into pals like the other guys maybe dan would start taking crap of mine out of pitty and i wouildnt want that

i can see the group of guys saying dan come on please please its funny ...WRONG!!!

dan told me when we first started writing he was picky not so sure hes as picky with those he knows fully

thats just my two cents ..
either way if i make it in bizarro i know its cause i deserved it and i can live with it

and my jokes always seem to be positive on blogspot

if i wanted to name drop names..i grew up calling providence, ri born compser bill conti of rocky fame uncle bill, rocco baldelli is a personal freind of mine and our famed mob mayor cianci wa in cahoots with my dad

sure it will be cool to know dan better but things are what they are

the end

derekamalo said...

alright sorry i took my meds...i just wasnt sure if thats what your post was all about like the five of us hung out or something

either way i spoke it live with it

for the record to poem ending i laughec dmy ass off at todays bizarro ...dan inspired only

bbonds44 said...

You know what?

I think Piraro has "done it" before.

Anonymous said...

Posts today reminds me of a bumper sticker.

"Ask me about my humility".

Frankenstein was humble.

iamevolved said...

The real troublemakers always have the torches and pitchforks. Wankers.0792

doug nicodemus said...

funny cartoon dan...less funny commenters however...

isee3dtoo said...

This board is weak!

KtM said...

I like the idea of seeing Frankenstein dressed in casual clothing for a change. He's always dressed so formally, with the snappy suit, trousers and boots. He might look appealing in a smoking jacket too, something like what we see Hugh Hefner wearing.

Anonymous said...

Doctors usually dress nice, remember that "Frankenstein" is the Dr., the monster he created has no name. For a story thats over 200 years old, it's pretty applicable to today with the human genome project. That being said, I think the comic was great!

isee3dtoo said...

Wow, the 4th grader impersonating me made a comment and I agree with it to a point.

However, I thought the first post was interesting, the humility post was good, and I agree with Doug. So it's not too weak.


Now I expect fake FIDO, fake Anonymous, fake Julie, FIDO 2, not Anonymous and the other fourth grader impersonators to come on.

Penny said...

No kidding, this is a true story: I worked years ago with a guy who got into the locker room of the Denver Nuggets after a game. Dikembe Mutombo was on the team then, and this guy saw him naked. He said after seeing this, "I was celibate for three weeks."

KtM said...

That's right anon, I forgot the monster had no name. I have always thought of him as Frankenstein, figuring he was adopted. Also, referring to him as "monster" really wasn't helping his self esteem. It must have been tough getting a date. Dr Frank might have said; "Hey monster, why don't you check out a singles bars tonight, you might find a nice girl whose into nursing or sewing or something?"

Although he did get lucky with that one chick in "Bride of Frankenstein" and she was pretty hot, if my memory serves me correctly.

PIRARO said...

I choose cartoons from others because I think they have merit. Personally, I think much of your objections are psychosomatic. If I didn't give the writers credit, I don't think you'd be able to pick out the gags I didn't write myself. I've done this in small ways for years, but only recently started giving the credit line. It would be interesting to see if you could pick out the gags from, say, 2001, that were written by someone else.

Francesco's cartoons, for instance, aren't to your taste, but he has a huge following on his own web site. A lot of professional writers we know think he's the bomb and follow his career. The week he filled in for me, I got as many emails from readers who liked his work as from those who didn't. Given that people are far more likely to complain than compliment, that says a lot.

Capozzola has a lot of his own fans in the Bay Area, where he publishes, too. To each his own, but just know that I don't take cartoons from others because they're friends. If I don't like it, I don't use it.

Regarding Jan 20, I know that joke was a bit odd, but that's what I love about it. How random and idiotic that a mother doesn't want her child to be a specific zodiac sign. It made me laugh. And if a reader of mine is truly insulted by that comic because they happen, by random, to be born on a date assigned to a thing called "Scorpio," insulting cartoons are by far not that person's biggest problem.

Julie said...

Who the hell openly talks about jokes of their own that they "love"? Pretty damn arrogant if you ask me.