Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Ash Wednesday


Since today is Ash Wednesday, I thought I'd post a short, special tribute to my ex-girlfriend and wife, Ashley, a.k.a. CHNW, whom I commonly call, "Ash."

Here she is wearing a coat that has bunny ears on the hood. She has related to non-human animals in a special way since early childhood and cannot seem to break the habit. (Anyone who makes a bestiality comment gets voted off the island.)

Here she is with a rescued fawn at Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary. The momma doe was killed by a car so we took in the fawn for a few days until we could find a wildlife rehabilitator. The fawn was fond of sucking on Ash's earlobe for comfort, which Ashley enjoyed, too. What a nice lady.

Here, she is very excited about a rescued calf at Woodstock, whom we named Dylan. He was found tied up inside a dark barn and was destined to be veal. That was a few years ago, now he is all grown up and the size of a Cadillac Escalade. He still comes to the fence when Ash calls him, and clearly has affection for her. She can no longer get inside the pasture with him, however, for he could accidentally crush her skull with a twitch of his upper lip. Did I mention he is large?

Here is the obligatory Ashley with chicken and donkey shot. This kind of thing tends to happen to her a lot, this time it was at Leilani Farm Sanctuary in Maui. Keen observers will notice there are two donkeys in this picture, one is pushing his nose into Ashley's butt. Who can blame him?

Here she is sharing a guava with said butt-muncher.

Speaking of butts, in this photo, Ash cleverly displays the world's largest nut, which comes from a palm tree of some sort. Since it is somewhat difficult to discern the nut from Ashley's own booty, I have included a picture of myself with said nut for proportion.















To conclude this special Ash Wednesday edition I offer this picture of Ash in a medieval helmet. This took place a couple of years ago in an Italian museum which does not employ enough guards to prevent this sort of thing.






(Special thanks to my buddy, Richard Cabeza, who's also married to an "Ash" and who reminded me of this special day.)

11 comments:

Jeremy said...

I love your tribute, Dan. Its obvious you are a very loving husband, good job! :-)

I wonder though, instead of leaving the strange sentence that you acknowledge would leave open the connotation of bestiality, why not just change it to something that can't be construed any other way?

You did the same thing to yourself and talking about your chicken.

GuateVegan said...

LOL!!!

Your 'ex girlfriend' lol nice way to put it :D

bbonds44 said...

I don't gt it, Is dan still with this beautiful lady or she kick him to the curb.

LysergicAsset said...

Ashley is my heroine. I just started being vegetarian (mostly vegan) and I am inspired by her devotion to these beautiful creatures, who are far superior to human beings, in my estimation.
-
Also: do you guys know about Orangutan Outreach?
http://redapes.org

Anonymous said...

No, we don't know about Orangutan Outreach. Thanks for asking.

Cellar Door said...

Your wife is wonderful. Thanks for sharing her with us! She makes vegan look good.

Blonde said...

I took me till the second last picture to get the joke...

Anonymous said...

This is a lovely way for you to show us a more personal and casual side of Ashley. Well done and thanks!

doug nicodemus said...

yet she is neither half naked nor crazy...could we see a little of that? ...

Jezzka said...

cows are surprisingly large and startle easy. living in a town like davis, i got to milk a cow on one fine picnic day.

when i reached down to squeeze one of the nippies from the utter, i was a little concerned my hands might be too cold, i made sure to warm them on my knees first, just one of those things you don't want to do wrong.

ranks right up there in fun, with carrying a boa constrictor around my arms and worrying about making the snake too nervous that it pees on you then kills you. death by boa pee, not the way i would like to go...

a fun post!

Jym said...

=v= Mr. Nicodemus, you must've missed the CHNW link. I like the CWHN link too.