Bizarro is brought to you today by Acme Hazardous Materials Storage Company.
This cartoon is a direct product of my venomous hatred of loud bars. Before you write me off as a person who is too old to appreciate loud music (602 months old next week), I felt just as strongly about this when I was 21 as I do now.
I can only think of two reasons for going to a bar: to meet friends and enjoy their company, or because you are out of booze at home, liquor stores are closed, and you need a drink so badly that you don't mind paying 300% of its retail value.
In the second case, it doesn't matter how loud the music is, the hooch is your main concern and you'll likely put up with anything to get it, even absurd prices and dangerous decibels. But if you're wanting to get together with friends, how does high-volume music help? If you're there primarily to dance, that's perfectly reasonable, but I've seen very little dancing in the bars I've visited. Most bars are places where people are jammed together screaming at each other, attempting conversation. This is difficult enough with someone you know, but meeting and getting to know a new person at the top of your lungs is comically difficult. Yet millions of people all across the world do this every weekend.
On the other hand, a quiet bar with reasonable prices is a rare and wonderful thing. Whether I'm playing pool or darts or just sitting at a table with friends, I almost always have a good time. On the other hand, I can count the number of times I've had a good time screaming over music at my friends on no hands. Give me a quiet, neighborhood pub any time.
Of course, my favorite place to drink is at home, alone in the dark, weeping in private.