Pat on the Back

Bizarro is brought to you today by Hard Knocks Disco. "Life can be cruel. Dance."

I got a lot of mail from an organization called M.O.T.H. (Mothers of Teenage Hunchbacks) about this cartoon. They made a good point: Hunchbacked children suffer greatly at the hands of their peers – kids being the unrepentant puppets of Satan that they are – and making fun of them in the comics is a slap in the face that they just don't need.

If any hunchbacked children – or "differently-postured children," as they prefer to be called – were hurt by this cartoon, I sincerely apologize. Until I started getting mail from M.O.T.H., I thought that hunchbackism was a fictional malady, like vampirism or erectile dysfunction. I stand corrected.

But the news for these kids isn't all bad. Some companies are actually catering to differently-postured children, and I commend them. (Of course, the rotting carcasses they serve at places like that destroy the environment and damage the child's health, but at least they get a plastic toy.)

Some companies have even issued special toys for differently-postured kids, showing them hitting it off with hot chicks and palling around with so-called "normal" people. Again, my respect for such efforts.

Some professional sports figures have played entire games with the posture of the differently-postured, in an attempt to raise awareness that these kids can do anything anyone else can do. (Except, perhaps, walk across a room with a book balanced on their head, but who ever needs to do that anyway?)

So I'd like to say thanks to M.O.T.H. for opening my eyes to a segment of our society of which I was not previously aware, and also, hats off and a pat on the back to differenty-postured kids everywhere!