Monday, October 6, 2008

Oral Bullets

Bizarro is brought to you today by Links to Links.

This cartoon was in part inspired by a joke I heard a stand-up comic tell when I was a kid, way back in the late 1900s. It might have been the legendary Robert Klein, but I can't swear to it.

The comedian describes seeing a man catch a bullet in his teeth in a stage act and wonders how you learn to do such a thing. "All right, I'm going to toss you the bullet a couple of times, and you catch it in your teeth." He pantomimes an underhand lob. "Very good, now this one is for real," as he pantomimes loading the bullet into a pistol.

I've always loved that gag and it crossed my mind again when I was doing this beginner's golf lesson. I enjoyed caddying for my dad when I was a kid, but have never played golf myself. I'm sure it's fun, I like games and sports, but I'm so busy that I've always thought that the last thing I need in my life is a five-hour hobby. Maybe when I'm retired.

Speaking of "games and sports," I'd like to say that not all games are sports and vice versa. Football is a game and a sport. Marathon running is a sport but not a game. Checkers is a game but not a sport.

I mention this as a way of telling ESPN to STOP PUTTING POKER ON TV. Poker is not a sport and does not belong on a sports channel. If I want to watch people play cards, I'll go to a nursing home.

20 comments:

isee3dtoo said...

I get the general concept of this comic, however, I think a regular size ball would have made it better. Having a oversize club and over sized hole is what a beginner needs. Whereas an oversized ball makes it impossible.

I do sports research, one of the reasons I can't get tenure is because there is no money in sports research at the university level. My Ph.D. dissertation is in the baseball hall of fame and I have research papers on basketball, golf, cycling, and more. I totally agree with you on sport and not a sport. Gymnastics is not a sport, diving is not a sport, ice skating is not a sport, and so on. They are all judged preforming arts. Yes, it takes an athletic person to do those well, but they are not sports. In fact curling which can be done by drunks that smoke a lot is more a sport than gymnastics.

anonymous said...

Because its a big hole. Ha. Ha. Ha. But isee3dtoo is right - it should be a normal sized ball, if you were going for humorous here. And that is always debatable.

Aaron Wempe said...

I think it is a pretty cool idea to think of a huge oversized ball for the hole. It reminds me of a strip you did awhile back. I thought today's strip was better though, Before and After of LLS..goodstuff.

isee3dtoo said...

To anonymous:

You keep commenting on Dan not being funny. In some cases I agree, however, because I think he is working more on bizarre also I don't think comics/cartoon need to be funny. The plain fact is that the nature of Bizarro is that the comic is usually more bizarre than funny. You can look at today's comic (the one in the blog) and ask is this funny or just bizarre? If the strip was called "Funno" then I think your comments would hold more water than they do.

anonymous said...

To be clear, what I have commented on is his rash of unfunny comics the past few months, which Dan himself has owned up to. So you think we should merely judge comics based upon the literal meaning of their names? That is a pretty ridiculous and simplistic excuse. Don't fool yourself - Dan's primary intent with Bizarro is to be funny, although lately he seems to be leaning on some formulaic and uncreative humor crutches and failing pretty consistently. A few honest commenters on this blog have stated as much. And now we also know that more than a few of the funny Bizarro comics that we've gotten the past few months have been taken from young aspiring cartoonists (with their consent, apparently) that have shown their work to Dan.

SAYOTTE316 said...

Man up anonymous and say what your really trying to say?

Are you trying to say the well of funniest is dry with piraro?

Show some guts will you.

Penny said...

Thank you for the "football" picture. Compared to hockey, football players are wussies. We won't even discuss baseball players.

PIRARO said...

I have no qualms with "anonymous" stating that he/she doesn't think my comics are funny lately, but I don't remember admitting that. I remember saying I was having tough personal times and had trouble writing, but that dark spot only lasted a few weeks back in early summer. My personal problems aren't "gone" but I am able to create again and not relying on jokes from others as much as I was back then.

To be honest, I never know if I'm on a hot streak or a cold one. I just write what I can and figure if I think it is funny or interesting or provocative enough to print, somebody else might, too. Every now and then I come up with one that I think is really great, but that's always been the exception more than the rule.

As in any creative effort, I have good days and bad ones. Unlike other kinds of artists – musicians, authors, screenwriters, painters, etc. – I have to create on an unrelenting schedule so I cannot afford to wait until the muse visits me. I just have to get up each morning, hit the ground running and see where it takes me. Some journeys are funnier than others.

I appreciate all the comments, though. Good or bad.

Jezzka said...

speaking of holes...swiss cheese is fun.

Jennie Panic said...

If you are going to critique someone's work..at least have the cojones to identify yourself, anonymous.

Mr. Piraro puts his art up for all to see. He does'nt post anonymously and then reveal himself only if everyone likes his stuff. Obviously he is doing something right or we wouldn't be here, he would'nt be famous and you would'nt be making cowardly comments.

If everyone did like his work ALL the time.. then I'd probably think he was doing something wrong. Each of Mr. Piraro's cartoons are unique and some days work might be more entertaining to you then others. What you find funny and what someone else finds funny will always vary. That's the great thing about these cartoons!

Simply put, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything" If you do have something not nice to say at least identify yourself!

derekamalo said...

amen to that jennie panic..and the only unfunny bizarro week in history was the one he did not do period

you are corect some good days some bad look closely some of piraros friends have bad days everyday under contract for years and none of them blog about it

without exageration everyone in history i met thinks the following comic strips suck and i never heard anything good about them from anyone you fill in the blank..

the f***ly c**cus

**ll* f*rt*

i know mothers with kids who are the corniest of the corny thinking these comics are awful and if they do so do everyone else.....but that would just be afact werethosecomics made toplease mothers or jocks,bankers,excons etc..

if im in new york and a bamker were to tellme he reads those everyday i dont know about you but id beat his ass



....i dont know if some cartoons are just king feature syndicate playing jokes on us...or if their is a certain type of sex written into these guys contracts

i dont think dan ever has to get on here and defend himself i talk via email to dan once a week....

i had bacon for breafast he doesnt individually attack me for it..

he seems to accept everyone is different than moves on

with that in mind its tough for dan to please everyone on a daily basis

if youlookcloseldans humor howevercan at least get everyone who reads the comic strippages many times laughing during the year ...everyone..

as far as the others go well there comics are poor mans toilet paper or bottom of birdcages ..

my opinion that is and the millions who want to voice it

in the end what it comes down to is i think most people see dan as the savior of making the comic pages worth reading and if he has what you see as a bad day then they suck...so hes technically taking heat for all the people who suck

derekamalo said...

rewritten with spell check lol

amen to that jennie panic..and the only unfunny bizarro week in history was the one he did not do period

you are corect some good days some bad ...look closely some of piraros friends have bad days everyday under contract for years and none of them blog about it

without exaggeration everyone in history i met thinks the following comic strips suck and i never heard anything good about them from anyone you fill in the blank..

the f***ly c**cus

**ll* f*rt*

i know mothers with kids who are the corniest of the corny thinking these comics are awful and if they do so do everyone else.....but that would just be a fact were those comics made to please mothers or jocks,bankers,ex cons etc..

if im in new york and a banker were to tell me he reads those everyday i dont know about you but id beat his ass



....i dont know if some cartoons are just king feature syndicate playing jokes on us...or if their is a certain type of sex written into these guys contracts

i dont think dan ever has to get on here and defend himself i talk via email to dan once a week....

i had bacon for breafast he doesnt individually attack me for it..

he seems to accept everyone is different than moves on

with that in mind its tough for dan to please everyone on a daily basis

if you look closely dans humor however can at least get everyone who reads the comic strip pages many times laughing during the year ...everyone..

as far as the others go well there comics are poor mans toilet paper or bottom of birdcages ..

my opinion that is and the millions who want to voice it

in the end what it comes down to is i think most people see dan as the savior of making the comic pages worth reading and if he has what you see as a bad day then they suck...so hes technically taking heat for all the people who suck

anonymous said...

Jennie Panic - I'll repeat this again, because you seem confused. I chose the name "anonymous" just as you chose "jennie panic." Would it be a help to you if I chose "john" instead? So off the high horse with you and back to the sand box.

anonymous said...

Derek - which of your posts used spell check?

isee3dtoo said...

I totally agree with anonymous on being anonymous, in fact "isee3dtoo" is just as anonymous.

I happen to divulge more information about me in my posts and there is some on my blogspot page but I could be making all that up too.

I think it really only matters if anonymous is the late Johnny Hart speaking to us from the grave or Jim Davis busting Dan's balls because we all know that Garfield is more funny than Bizarro.

P.S. the word verification below is "ashit", I shit you not.

leigh said...

I've got to be honest - I agree with isee3dtoo and anonymous on this one.

derekamalo said...

and what exactly do you agree with leigh as anonymous has made several points

Shortcake said...

i loved this comic! over-sized ANYTHING is perfect for a chuckle. i think physical humor is much more genuine than written humor, not to discount those who are fantastic writers (they surely write funnier things than i ever could). physical humor gets your guts a-rumblin and you keep playing the gag over and over in your head, which only triggers more laughter. whereas written humor (if done well) goes JOKE laugh JOKE laugh chuckle.. pause.. joke LAUGH... like there's some formula you have to follow in order to be funny. like a sitcom.

you guys are really just arguing personal preference.. which is something you can NOT argue. EVER. it's all in your perception... i don't understand why every time i come in here it's the same couple people arguing over whether the day's comic was funny or not. are you really getting anywhere? do you really think you're gonna influence a dramatic change in the bizarro comic just because you didn't like it? you're absolutely entitled to your opinion, but that's my point. leave each other alone. it's such a waste of time and energy. differing opinions don't matter to the author, why should they matter to you?

you don't see george lucas and the guy(s) who directed star trek arguing over who made a bigger over-all societal impact in the late 1900s. but you DO see lots, and LOTS of trekkies trying to convince the siblings dressed up as luke and laya that their show made a bigger societal impact in the late 1900s (regardless of whether it did or not. it doesn't matter to me).

anonymous said...

shortcake - you speak as though you have not done precisely what you are complaining about.

Jezzka said...

speaking of underwear...mine has three holes!