Love Sitting

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Inexperienced Senators from Illinois who hope to be president.

Ah, love.

Love is all you need.

Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn't, hunt it down and shoot it.

I remember first finding out about short couches being called "love seats" when I was a child. I immediately assumed there must be an opposite, a "hate seat." The first time I saw one of those s-shaped chairs, I figured this was a likely candidate. But then if you really hate someone, why would you want to be this close? I couldn't quite figure out why these kinds of chairs were ever designed.

After a few years of marriage, I understood. As you long-term-relationship readers know, there are many times when you want to be close to your partner, but not "among" them. These chairs are perfect for that, like when you both want to read. Or perhaps when one of you wants to read and the other wants to watch football.

Or better yet, when you've recently had an argument and your partner is reading and you want to fume nearby but not join them in what they are doing. Like when she is reading or using her laptop, you could sit in the other side with your brow knitted, your arms and legs crossed, and fume. Seems perfect. Here's a cool, modern version of it for urban, 21st century arguments.

These seats swivel so you can face each other when you're happy and turn away when you're not. A good piece of furniture for an argument, turning toward or away as you agree or disagree. Careful you don't make yourself nauseous.

This chair is sold as a love seat and looks as though it is every bit as uncomfortable as love inevitably ends up (occasionally) being. Virtually no one gets through a romantic relationship without feeling at some point as though you've been sitting in one of these chairs in the hot sun for eighteen hours without a bathroom break.

The most you can hope for in relationships is to feel as though you've spent more time in a seat like this than this. Good luck to all.