Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Disappearing Act

This Bizarro cartoon is brought to you by Painful Truth Imaging Company. "We see right through your crap."

X-rays are pretty creepy, from a non-scientist's point of view. Imagine what people must have thought shortly after they were invented. "This thing can see through me. Awesome. Maybe now they can find out the cause of those headaches."

These days, nothing seems impossible. Technology changes so fast that nothing one hears is completely unbelievable. For instance, take this simple test: Which of the following statements is false?

1. Engineers can create transparent material as strong as steel.
2. There is a battery so tiny it can fit into a single human red blood cell.
3. The average home computer can process information tens of thousands of times more quickly than the human brain.
4. The average 5th grader can process information tens of thousands of times more quickly than George W. Bush.

Actually, all are true. What an amazing world we live in.

And speaking of the world, The Economist magazine recently asked what would happen if all the countries in the world could vote in our upcoming Prez election. Based on our own electoral college system, which countries would vote red, which blue? The answer is here. Most notable to me is the way Iraq and Israel voted.

16 comments:

SAYOTTE316 said...

jeremy verses duffau in an all out bizarro rumble...Jeremy claims hes connected....We'll bring duffau out and we'll see who brings out the high voltage.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

doug nicodemus said...

that is pretty funny HAHAHA

the inline skate one was pretty funny in today's paper too.

Jezzka said...

when i was young i had to be subjected to a lot of x-rays, laid out on a cold table with bright lights and nothing but a lead plate covering my love area; it wasn't too comforting to see the doctors flee like monkeys with banjos when the machine was whirling on.

hello... hello... where is everyone going? zap!

as a result, now, my eyeballs glow in the dark, but my love area, well that is just private!! wooooo...

isee3dtoo said...

jezzka,
from one aggie to another, 'you want to play doctor?'

anonymous said...

isee3dtoo - is this one supposed to be bizarre or funny?

julianmaestas said...

X-Rays ain't got nothin on MRIs.

Jezzka said...

yeah, been there done that too.

at least they give you a tiny mirror to entertain yourself while you lie still for 2 hours as invisible laser beams scan your body.

the worst is when you have an itch on your knee and you try to sneak a scratch and the craggle rock intercom voice warns you to stay still. fiddlesticks! how did they know??!

an mir is more relaxing than x-rays. at least the white tube is clean and you can meditate and focus on the exciting intricacies of breathing.

marin_explorer said...

"We see right through your crap*."

--Which sums up my reaction of last night's Presidential Debate. Gotta love the political subtext to your posts (ok, it's really not that hidden)

*Apologies to the elephant for the unfortunate symbolism.

isee3dtoo said...

It all depends on what are your definitions of bizarre and funny?

I think the patent is funny looking, I think the doctor is bizarre or stupid, and I think the caption is just weird, something Uncle Fester would say on Addam's Family, or simply put something you would find in a bizarro-world.

However, it doesn't matter, I will keep coming and checking out the daily blogs.

isee3dtoo said...

jezzka:

I agree MRI machines are designed to torture you and see how well you can concentrate on your breathing.

However full brain MRI's are out of the world. I tell the follow story to people and they don't believe me. In fact I would not believe it but I do because I did it.

I lived with an MRI tech who did a full brain MRI on every death-row convict in California (including Charlie Manson). One day she asked me to be her victim and have a full-brain MRI because she wanted to test some new heart monitors out. A free brain scan so I jumped on it.

Question: Why do you need a heart monitor if they are checking your brain?

Answer: Because as they slice through your brain they activate parts of it. It is amazing. One moment you are in a peaceful state of mind, the next your heart rate has jumped by 50% and your breathing rate has doubled. Then back to normal in an instant. One moment you are in a big white tube the next moment you are reliving a major car crash or the most exciting ski run of your life. I have told this to experts on MRI's and they say "I am crazy nothing like that happens". But when you ask if they every had a brain MRI the answer is usually no. Or if they did they did not have it done in one-mm or half-mm slices, and slicing your brain in every direction possible.

My roommate told me that in some ways it was the worst punishment a death-row victim could have or the greatest pleasure. They got to relive why they were there, the memories of the crimes would re-emerge in living vivid color in the minds.

She said the worst patients, the ones who screamed the most or the ones that would have to be sedated were the Vietnam vets. She never asked them what they remembered. She always felt sorry for them. I wonder what it going to happen to our middle-east vets?

I remember when the MRI was over, she came in unstrapped me, looked at me, and said "So?" I looked back and said "So What?" She said "What did you remember?" and I said "I would have never believed you, that machine is insane!" -- The answer I heard music (the was no music playing) and I remembered events that as clear as ever from when I was 3 to 5 years old. I raced all over my life but the scariest part was not being able to control my breathing, I have no idea what my heart was doing but I felt at times my lungs would going to explode, then the machine would move a half of mm and everything was cool.

Sorry for the long post...

marin_explorer said...

Long, but very interesting!
Maybe I'll buy a used MRI and invite people over for a "brain party"...

Tom said...

Lieutenant Dan,

You have one of the best blogs on the interweb. Keep up the good work!

Robert Finis said...

When I had my brain scanned, I just remember that laying there in that white tube was the most awesome thing I did that entire year, but I couldn't explain why, just that I felt great. That and for some reason thinking the small whirring and beeping sounds the machine made sounded a lot like Kraftwerk, which was hilarious for some reason, making it really hard not to start laughing. I don't know what sort of MRI brain scan I had, exactly, but there is some evidence that strong magnetic fields applied to the brain create a sensation of euphoria. I still find the breathing noises the circulating pump for the liquid nitrogen that kept the superconducting magnet super eerie, though.

julianmaestas said...

hmmmm.... ISee3DToo, I've had three MRI brain scans, and have never experienced that effect, so I'm as skeptical as the disbelieving people you tell your story too.

isee3dtoo said...

Julian.

It all depends on how your brain was sliced. My roommate went front to back, top to bottom, left to right, and at one or two angles. She also did the scans at a very fine step. There are parts of the brain that everything was boring just the machine going clug clug clug but when the MRI was slicing through the Cerebellum, which controls heart rate and breathing, it gets very interesting very fast.

I have no doubts that you can have three brain scans and experience nothing but then again are they slicing and dicing you in every way possible or just looking in a localized zone. The scans my roommate preformed on the crazies in the penal system and the scan I received was to explore every nook and cranny. The amazing part was certain slices you could feel the magnetic field do it thing, meaning I could feel it step through my head.

I have some wonderful photos of my eyes from it. The most amazing part was when one the doctors told me I had a major sinus infection about three years before I had the scan done. He was right, then he showed all the scar tissue I had in my sinuses.

Shortcake said...

wow, isee3dtoo! that sounds intense! would that be a good place to take a date?

x-rays are weird.. but i would rather get an x-ray than an MRI. at least with the x-ray it's over in 10-20 minutes. when i had my MRI I couldn't help but feel like i was going to be stuck in there forever. i'm in no way claustrophobic or anything weird, but it still made me uneasy. i couldn't WAIT to be out of there.