Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Surgical Dancing

Bizarro is brought to you today by Slices of Life, providing the public with medical supplies at discount prices since 1869.

I've only had two surgeries in my life: knee surgery to repair a torn ACL in 2000, and a vasectomy in 2004. The knee surgery was far worse, requiring weeks of excruciatingly painful recovery and excruciatingly painful rehab. If you ever find yourself in the position of telling a goomba where the money is hidden or calling his bluff about breaking your knee, I'd recommend the former. But the old hinge works better than ever now that doctor whats-his-name fixed me up, and I'm as good as new. In fact, I'm better than new. After the surgery and rehab were complete, I found that I could tap dance with that leg. I've been meaning to take lessons to get the other leg to catch up but haven't gotten around to it.

The vasectomy, on the other hand, was no big deal and boy, what a terrific form of birth control. No fuss, no muss. No new skills to report after that surgery, however. Although, now that I think about it, I've never tried to tap dance with my scrotum. Hmmm.

13 comments:

Joyceagain said...

You always make me think and laugh simultaneously! Here's a post to Freecycle Tucson that cries out for illustration: "Offer- Climbing magazine..." I visualized it scaling our a slope in local Catalina Mountains. With your newly invigorated knee you might accompany it.

Joyceagain said...

You always make me think and laugh simultaneously! Here's a post to Freecycle Tucson that cries out for illustration: "Offer- Climbing magazine..." I visualized it scaling a slope in local Catalina Mountains. With your newly invigorated knee you might accompany it.

Jeremy said...

I got a vasectomy in 2005! I have to agree, after a few days of teste pain its great not to have to buy and use prophylactics all the time.

The interview with the doctor was funny, because I was only 24. Once I told him I have 3 kids they had to qualms with slicing and dicing. At one point the doc touched the soldering gun to the part of my scrotum that had not been anesthetized, and that hurt. Smelling my burning vas deferens was a little nasty.

Now I probabaly turned some people off to the process, but it saves you tons on condoms/pills/contraceptive creams. Plus, the Right Wingers can't claim you are aborting a fetus!

fido said...

as most of you may know my pepere is possessor of a virgin ass

jeremy stop it we all know your a virgin please stick to bizarro

fran said...

Oh joy - it's finally scrotum story hour.

fido said...

lmao fra..

fido said...

A FRIEND OF MINE TOLD ME THAT IN CONCERT, PIRARO'S FUNNIER THAN MITCH HEDBERG ON HIS BEST DAY

fido said...

oh before i forget

as most of you may know my pepere is possessor of a virgin ass

doug nicodemus said...

your reply thingy is getting a bit glitchy...

the conversation is so wrong in so many ways... but the cartoon is kinda HAHA. keep up the good work!

homepage - www.censys.org

Shortcake said...

i think if you could tapdance with your scrotum, you could retire.

baltimorediary said...

I had my vasectomy in '05 as well, and it was a lot easier than I thought it would be, considering. But yeah, that soldering gun thing does make it a little weird..."Hey, do I smell pork?"

I don't know if I would describe the result as "no fuss, no muss," however. It's no fuss, but there's still some muss, which is part of the fun. Heh.

Geoff W. said...

Hi Dan,

Love your blog! I always love seeing the insight/inspiration/etc that cartoonists put into their strips/panels.
I have my strips up on a blogspot myself, but my page doesn't look nearly as nice as yours... please, email me - how'd you get your page to look different from the usual template (ex - the pics of you at the top?

Thanks a lot! Much appreciated!
-Geoff

Andrew Wales said...

I had a vasectomy which the doctor somehow botched. Let's just say it was a painful two weeks. I could say more, but it's a mixed audience.

I also had a septoplasty, which is fine until you wake up. The feeling you have at that time is that someone has shoved a live Badger up your nose and then slowly pulled it out while the Badger reacts as anyone would in such a situation. (I read this description from Scott Adams before I had mine done, and by golly, it is accurate.) Then they shove the equivalent of a whole roll of paper towels up your nose and tell you it's just fine to go to work the next day.