Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Smelly Horses

Proceeds from today's Bizarro will be donated to Horses Against Gravity, a 501c3 organization.

I suspect that a lot of people under a certain age will not have gotten this joke. I never know for sure, so when I consider a gag like this one I have to decide whether I want to use it or not. Usually I decide to go for it, as I've learned over that years that my readers usually enjoy a challenge and don't mind not getting all the gags.

This one isn't really a challenge, though, it's just a reference to a TV commercial for Aqua Velva aftershave which was ubiquitous in the 60s and 70s. As I recall, the commercial was basically just attractive women getting all gooey over a guy who walks by at a party, office, or bar and smells good. The tag line was, "There's just something about an Aqua Velva man."



And that "something" was, since Aqua Velva was a cheap drugstore aftershave, that he wasn't a man who spent much on his grooming. So if thriftiness turns you on, you'd go for him in a big way. You might also dig his Sears leisure suit and Payless vinyl shoes. (As an ethical vegan, I don't wear leather shoes either, but then I'm sort of a cheapskate, too.)

Not that it has anything to do with this cartoon, really, but it seems that most little girls have a thing for horses. I can only assume adult women like horses, too, but I'm not sure. I'll resist making any comments about having something strong and silent between their legs (well, no, I guess I didn't resist making that comment) but I do wonder what the reason is. Is it their beauty, their power, their long, luxurious, style-able hair? That also describes Fabio, and he scares the crap out of all the little girls I know.

As for aftershave, I'm not a person who enjoys synthetic smells so I don't wear any of that smelly stuff. I prefer to be natural, so after I shower, I rub my body with one of my favorite natural scents.

14 comments:

julie said...

So you replaced "man" with "horse." Anything else to it?

doug nicodemus said...

okokokok that was mildly funny. i am going to start a HA rating. 1-5 so if it was i laughed til i cryed it gets a HAHAHAHAHA and if its like julie said - slap your forhead and make a pfffft sound its a HA. in the spirit of the olympics this was a HAHA.

Rebecca C. Brown said...

Ew, horses?! Through no fault of their own, horses give me the willies. I'd rather hang out with a chimp.

Maybe it can be attributed to all that "chemistry" mumbo jumbo that evolutionary biologists and Chuck Woolery spout, but I LOVE the way my husband smells naturally. That's right, I said it: I think my husband's armpits are fun to sniff.

Jeremy said...

Dont get me wrong, it was a good cartoon, but I assumed it was a double entendre. I though a velvet horse was something funny I didn't understand.

I see Aqua Velvet commercials still to this day. Now they feature a fellow (Probably the same guy as the 70's commercial) showing his son how to splash nasty, stinky, alcohol water all over himself to get teenage chicks.

Let me know how that works out for you dude. I personally HATE sitting on the bus and some dude has literally soaked himself in some cologne. I have a pretty sensitive nose and that really irritates the lining of my nostrils.

I'm with you, Dan. I'll buy shampoo that has natural scents like Aloe Vera or apple in it, but I don't put cologne on, much to my mother-in-law's chagrin. I had a job working in a retail store and they said I stink and made me wear cologne. I hated it. HATED IT!! Screw Verizon Wireless.

Jezzka said...

not really a fan of horses, but i do like the strong and silent type, especially if they have bedroom eyes.

Jeremy said...

LOL! Jezzka, the Zodiac year on your profile is the Horse!

marin_explorer said...

What I took from this is an "Aqua Velva Horse" is just as ludicrous as the concept applied to a human.

But a stupid idea is always worth repeating. Look at those "AXE" cologne ads--exactly the same concept. Clever.

I'm glad you're one of those slightly less mainstream panels...you can get away with social commentary.

thedanmancan said...

I thought this was an alcoholic drink joke, as in the David Fincher film Zodiac an aqua velva is referred to by Robert Downey Jr. as a drink. The male horse is holding a drink so it made sense to me until I found out it's actually an aftershave.

fran said...

I think you are all reading far too much into this. It is a play on words. Nothing less, nothing more.

Peaches said...

Oh my god... do they still sell the new "Lime Frost" one??? I'm dying to make my man smell like an aqua velva man- okay I don't have one but I died when I saw the video. The talking horses reminded me of Gulliver's Travels. You can't deny that horses carry a certain majestic beauty about them. That's the appeal to horses. And to Mrs. Brown... I'm afraid of all apes and primates. There is just something so creepy about other animals resembling humans.

Kristina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kristina said...

Wow, advertising doesn't ever really evolve, does it? Then it was Aqua Velvet, now it's Axe body spray!

Jezzka said...

jerms: yeah, i was referring to live horses, they can be large and scary up close. i use to ride horses when i was a kid and deathly afraid when i was on them...my father thought it would be fun for me to go horseback riding because we lived near a horse ranch, but i only recall being really really traumatized. in terms of zodiac signs, horses rule!!

oh and that elvis pic was retrieved from google images. i typed bedroom eyes and this is what google spat out at me...i'm not really a huge fan of elvis or his bedroom eyes, but thought the image was funny and that it popped up in the search for sexy bedroom eyes...

fido said...

my pepere has a virgin ass