Friday, August 15, 2008

Ouija Wonders

Bizarro is brought to you today by the power of suggestion.

I love this idea to death and wish I could claim it completely. A very clever friend of mine named Cliff, sent the pun idea to me. I dropped it into this scenario and voila, I smiled. I'm still smiling all these weeks later.

This appeals to me not only because it is funny but it touches on satirizing military brutality. For those of you inclined toward the warmer-colored part of the political scale, I am not saying that all military personnel are brutal. Don't Dixie Chick me. (Or, do. I could use the publicity.)

Torture is brutal, however, and from what I've read, yeilds unreliable results since virtually any person on earth will say or do whatever it takes to make the torture stop. Including lying. My guess is that Ouija boarding would gather as dependable results as water boarding.

Which makes me wonder if the military has ever tried hypnotism. They could interrogate prisoners at night, on stage, thus both gaining information and entertaining the troops. And if they can't get the subject to tell them where Bin Laden is, they could at least get him to cluck like a chicken or imagine he is a beautiful woman and sashay about the stage to peals of laughter from the audience.

Some of our top government officials have said that they do not consider water boarding to be torture. I'd personally pay a lot to see that theory tested first hand.

23 comments:

julie said...

Change "water" to "ouija." Hope people are vaguely amused. Real low-level effort.

Lorie said...

Julie, who are you? My sister and I call people like you "crunts". Are you just some creepy ex-girlfriend no talent hack with an axe to grind?

Jeremy said...

I accidentally water boarded my 4 year old son in the bathtub last weekend. I went to pour water on his head to rinse the shampoo as he laid back in the tub. I felt so horrible. I sat him up and he blew out the water. He was fine in a few minutes.

Am I a terrorizer? :(

fido said...

As i have told you all before my grandpa or pepere for that matter has a virgin ass.

julie time to get a life posting nonsense on these booards

Charlie said...

Jeremy, did you get any good information from your son? The gov needs all the leads it can get!

Robert Finis said...

Love it.

kerrikoo said...

One word.
Unibrow!!

fido said...

as i have mentioned on my past few posts my pepere has a virgin ass..and jeremy you dont have a four year old son stop pretending you are not a virgin

julie said...

Who are you, "Lorie"? Sounds like you and your sister really have a great time together.

doug nicodemus said...

hahaha

that was pretty funny- military intelligence...is there such a thing? i think you are on a rebound here.

xen said...

This cartoon really made me laugh. It really depicts how silly the US army acts. Just wish they stopped being such bullies. Can't really teach an old dog new tricks, but you can at least try.

fido said...

Asi ave mentioned both yesterday and toady, My granpa,pepere in french possesses a virgin ass

derekamalo said...

hey fido put a space between the as and the i before i hang for it ......anybody see dans work this week., great work this week. im still laughing about lumberjack ass and charlie brownhorse ...lol

Lorie said...

Sorry, I was busy doing other things beside sitting at my computer all day long thinking I am clever but in reality am a bitter, negative, mean-spirited bitch. I don't normally post on blogs, and I now remember why. I go to Dan Piraro's blog because I enjoy reading his daily posts, have been a fan of his strip for years, and share the same philosophy regarding animal advocacy. A few days ago I started reading the comments people posted, thinking I might encounter like-minded, creative people. Instead I find jerks like you, someone with no life who has deluded herself into thinking her intellect to be of such superiority that she's in a position to criticize the work of others. I won't be posting on this blog again until you go away.

julie said...

I wish "julie" would get banned from this blog... all that person does is harrass people here, and has been stalking me.

mark said...

Your artwork is really exceptional. Great gag, great title. Bravo!

derekamalo said...

yes on several occasions piraros artwork by friends of mine has been described as superb....as owner of a few originals... what people dont realize is the actual drawing size of his art maybe 5 by 7 where he actually draws so the details are actually impressive in the amount of area he draws in...i remember a teacher telling me at rhode island school of design told me around 1993 that better writing saves better art...which is true....look at john callahans work compared to say great art work gasoline unfunny alley...dans fortunate to have been able to mix both....i myself at one time was great artist and still can be but from a laziness standpoint and figuring hey my work dont get printed anyways i began drawing shit on a shittier scale and its stayed like that...by the way fido did your pepe ever get his night of magic in or do we have to wait til next week for the exciting conclusion

Robert Finis said...

Though I feel obliged to note: isn't making prisoners sashay about in personally humiliating and degrading ways a big part of what got us into this human rights disaster?

Beady-El said...

The day after I saw this strip, this story appeared on CNN.com ...

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/08/15/mind.reading.ap/index.html

Shortcake said...

i didn't know what water-boarding was until a couple weeks ago... i don't really stay up-to-date with methods of torture, call me old-fashioned (at the age of 22). my boyfriend just blurted out
"so the govt. doesn't consider water-boarding to be torture" and i said "i didn't know it was torture, either!" because i thought water-boarding was a form of surfing or wake-boarding. i mean, the terms "water" and "boarding" conjur up images of vacationing on the beach, not guys shoving the heads of prisoners underwater with a piece of wood as means of interrogation. after he explained it to me, i said "i can't believe the govt. doesn't think water-barding is torture!"

but i love this cartoon for a couple reasons. first, because had it come out a few weeks ago i woudln't have understood the pun. second, because i can just imagine the two guard guys probing the prisoner for answers, only to be ignored and thus scurry to find an answer from a piece of cardboard and a magnifying glass thought to have combined supernatural powers. love!

julie said...

Lorie - name calling, eh? Yeah, your thoughtful, insightful and witty comments will be missed by all.

julie said...

Julie 2 - that free speech thing really sucks, huh? Too bad you can't pick and choose what you personally want to be "free."

doug said...

Derek - any samples of the work from when you were a great artist?