Saturday, December 13, 2008

The Real McCoy

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I wrote this joke during the last throes of the presidential campaign. One of the pointiest sticks in my craw for the past ten years is how many Americans will choose a candidate because he or she seems "folksy" (read: dumb) like them, over someone who is intelligent and well educated. Adjectives like "Ivy League" and "brainy" have been the worst things a person could be called if they hoped to win an election. No, you would never want a person smarter than you to lead the most powerful country in the world. That might make you feel inferior.

In spite of the amazing PR job that was done to convince voters of the opposite, W was the epitome of Ivy League elitism (though no one would ever accuse him of being brainy.) His privileged stroll from birth to the White House, and his now-proven utter indifference to the conditions of life for those outside his anointed circle, are precisely what most Americans do not want in a politician. Yet all they need to be convinced otherwise is a "gimme" cap and a phony accent. (Ever wondered why no one else in Bush's family has a Texas accent? I lived in Texas for 22 years and can attest to the fact that W's is pretty unauthentic. Maybe it's because he was mostly raised by a wealthy political family from New England.)

Thank God (or "no one," for my atheist readers) that Obama was able to get past this idiotic trend of electing counterfeit bumpkins to the Oval Office. While oozing intelligence, compassion, authenticity and elegance, he still managed to get elected. I pray (figuratively) that enough Americans are tired of hillbilly heads of state that those days are over, at least for a while.

But just when I feel comfortable in that assumption, a silhouette with a banjo and a corncob pipe appears on the horizon of Alaska.


Unknown said...

I think it's a shame that the American public still gets duped by the left and the right when far more qualified candidates are appointed by the third parties and ignored by voters and the media. Just my opinion, though.

doug nicodemus said...

22 years in texas you are kidding right.,.you went to college there way

Penny Mitchell said...

Trust me, I've been thanking God since the nanosecond the polls closed on the west coast. I still have flashes of goosebumps when I hear the phrase "President-elect Obama".

I'll take this opportunity to remind everyone of
Neil Bush, the Bush brother who had a huge hand in causing the Savings & Loan collapse of the late '80's/early 90's (that decade's Enron) and has personally had millions upon millions upon millions of TAX PAYER dollars deposted into his own account because of Dubya's "No Child Left Behind" debacle. Pretty nice when yer brother there decides to mandate that public school systems HAVE to buy your piece-of-shit program that doesn't do a freaking thing to teach kids anything.

This entire family is a POX on this nation. On the WORLD.

Anonymous said...

Penny said: "I still have flashes of goosebumps when I hear the phrase "President-elect Obama".

Yeah, me too. I mostly stay away from politics but this election was too important not to care about. I spent a good portion of this election "season" silently chanting "President-elect Obama", hoping that maybe this would make it true.

Laughed at this cartoon, too, Dan. And your rant. We must be long-lost non-identical twins. So far I believe everything you've written about...except maybe the thing about ignoring Xmas & birthdays in the name of foregoing commercialism. Face it: you're just lazy. A phone call or an ecard don't cost anything (assuming you have a cell phone) except your time and thoughtfulness.

But that comment shoulda gone on that long-ago post. Just had to get it off my chest!

Anonymous said...

"Americans will choose a candidate because he or she seems 'folksy' (read: dumb) like them, over someone who is intelligent and well educated."

I agree completely! I WANT a president who's smarter than I am, not one whose SAT scores were lower than mine and can't even pronounce "nuclear".
I was suprised at how many women fawned over Palin "because she's a mother like us", even though Palin's policies and views are very anti-woman's rights.
I have no problem with a woman in the White House (I voted for Hillary in the primaries), but let's make it a woman who believes in woman's rights at least!
I'm breathing a sigh of relief that we've finally put an intelligent candidate back in the White House.

Dave Stratton said...

Here's another Bushism I always wondered about... who else likes to fire up the chainsaw and "clear brush" while on vacation? And why didn't the news crews ever pan left to get a shot of the landscapers looking on with bemused looks?

Anonymous said...

Because they (the landscapers) were illegal aliens. :)

Jeremy said...

You forgot to mention that his Crawford ranch was just a political tool too. Now that he's out he's moving back to Dallas with all the city folk.

Zelmarific said...

His Crawford "ranch" had no animals, nor crops, nor ranchy stuff at all! I might as well call my track house here in town a ranch. At least I have a garden out back and a few bunny rabbits on the place.

I feel exactly the way you do about the whole "folksy" thing.