Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Fuggetabottit

Bizarro is brought to you today by Want To See My Spleen?

Near the top of my list of favorite things to do each day is climbing into bed at night and reading. (Other items on the list: pointing at rainbows, teaching my cat Tai Chi, running through crowded subways shouting "Grey's Anatomy is FAKE!")

I sometimes wonder if my bed looks forward to our time together as much as I do. Is it a willing participant in my nightly slumber? Does it sleep when I sleep or does it sleep during the day and lie awake all night wishing I'd get the hell off of it? And how does it feel about being used for sex?

Does the memory foam really remember me? If so, does it also remember my cats? If someone uses a memory foam mattress to cheat on their spouse, will it ever forget? When the mattress gets old, does it remember who slept on it thirty years ago but not who used it last night?

After all that musing, I'm embarrassed to say that I can't remember if my mattress is memory foam or not.

14 comments:

doug nicodemus said...

i put up your fish panel today and posted a link to my favorite video pirates arrrg

http://fora.tv/2008/12/05/Dan_Piraro_Bizarro_Buccaneers

i think your blog is much more than "explaining" your cartoons but who is jenny?

Tegin said...

is that a real Superman comic book?! I want to read it!!

PIRARO said...

@doug nicodemus...
Jenny? Wha' choo talkin' 'bout?

@Tegin...
I don't know. I just found the cover image on the interwebs.

Robert Gidley said...

@Tegin: Yup, it's a real issue from Nov 1960. Looks like it sells for $20 to $25 (check eBay).

It's a "dream" story (usually they called them "imaginary" stories) so it didn't "really" happen.

Jezzka said...

i don't think anyone or thing enjoys being used for sex, unless they're kinky, but i'd like to think that topic of discussion belongs on a political representative's blog or maybe better addressed on an episode of sponge bob squarepants.

Tanja said...

I just laughed and laughed at this one. Embarrassing when you're in a quiet library workroom though.

RSJ said...

At least it's not a waterbed. I can understand why they quickly dropped out of fashion -- if filled improperly, they were like sleeping on a raft drifting in the ocean or an overinflated tire, and once, speaking of sex, I bounced clean off the bed in a moment of heated passion. (Yes, I was with a partner at the time.) Besides they tended to be uncomfortably cool unless you bought the optional heater, which often malfunctioned, and the blankets and sheets kept sliding off.

The salesman guaranteed me that it was 'just as safe and natural as sleeping in your mother's womb.' That's true -- if your mother happened to be one of the Flying Wallendas.

Iara said...

"When the mattress gets old, does it remember who slept on it thirty years ago but not who used it last night?"
This post, especially this quote, is really funny. I've found this blog only a week ago, and it's already on my top 3. Good comics, interesting posts, what else could you ask for? Also, I love the images links, how much time do you spend looking for them?

Iara said...

@Tegin: Yes, it's real: http://www.comics.org/details.lasso?id=15909

I'm puzzled by Supergirls choice of wearing a skirt to fly... What if the wind changes or something?

Penny said...

Grey's Anatomy is FAKE?

The hell you say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nowax said...

Well, old Superman wouldn't need viagra, since he's already a man of steel.

Anonymous said...

When I was little, I used to be kept awake by imagining what it'd be like to be a mattress. Including how akward it'd be to have a couple having sex on top. I decided I didn't want to be a bed.

Yes, I was a freakishly odd kid. You don't want to know about now.

doug nicodemus said...

in the video you are talking about jenny who only has one leg? is that just schtick? that was pretty funny..

PIRARO said...

@ doug n...
Oh, that video. duh. Jenny is the founder of Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary and she does, in fact, have a fake leg. She lost it to cancer when she was a kid. She's good-natured about it, though.

@ Lara...
Glad you like it, I spend as little time as possible looking for the link photos, but more than I should. It's fun, but time consuming.