Thursday, June 11, 2009

Mythology Humorolgy

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Men's Hats.

One of the many things I wondered about the Bible as a youth was why god is always referred to as a "he." The pronoun denotes gender specificity, which means god has a penis. Why does "He" need a penis if he neither urinates nor reproduces biologically?

Could it be "He" is not literally male, but just representing himself as such so we may relate to "Him" better? If that is the case, the whole "trinity" issue seems ill advised. How can three men (or two men and a ghost) be one man simultaneously? Whether they have penises or not, that's not very easy to relate to.

Another PR conundrum is that the Old Testament says Jews are the "chosen people." If "He" created all of the myriad types, groups, ethnicities, and nationalities of people on earth, why choose any one specific group to be your favorite? Seems unfair and a bit contradictory.

So the god of the Bible is male and likes Jews best – let's think about this. Maybe the answer is right under our noses. Maybe it is because male Jews wrote the Old Testament. Hmmm.


DISCLAIMER: I have nothing against Jews, this post is simply making a point about believing the Bible literally. I have many Jewish friends and neighbors and regard them on an individual basis, just like anyone else I meet. Bigotry against any group is deplorable.
DISCLAIMER 2: I have nothing against the Bible or any of the thousands of other religious texts around the world. I think interpreting any of them as the literal word of god is unwise at best, dangerous at worst. (See Jihad, Crusades, Fred Phelps)
DISCLAIMER 3: I have nothing against men or penises. Mine has long been my favorite organ.

23 comments:

Jeremy said...

'He' sounds better than 'It'. In our dual-gendered world our language only permits hims or hers, and its are not usually living items so its a language thing really. God made man in his image, so maybe he does have a penis. Probably not though, since most believe 'made in his image' is referring mostly to brain capacity, language and emotional capacity.

God chose the Jewish people because he knew they would uphold his word and keep it safe. It certainly worked! We have the Bible today and the Dead Sea Scrolls and other cave writings confirm that the Torah has stayed pretty much consistent over thousands of years.

Check Derek's blog for a response to the email you sent him.

Catalina said...

The disclaimers alone made my day. I agree about taking any religious text literally.

Dosbears said...

Pretty much all words in Hebrew have gender; you can't say "it," you have to say "he." There are many different names or attributes for God in the Hebrew Bible, some of them - such as Shechina - are feminine.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Piraro: Have you forgotten to put the slices of pie in your comics? It's just.... I don't know if I can go on. You just forgot right? right? right? You didn't intentionally cut it out. I'm tearing up as I type this.

And that's a really interesting point. I never really thought about that stuff before...

Penny said...

BRILLIANT comic!

And the book, "The Shack", while not the most elegant read on the planet, does a very nice job of illustrating the "God's gender" thing. In the book God is a large, jovial black woman, Jesus is a Jewish man (shocker, I know) and the Holy Spirit is an ethereal, Oriental woman. I really enjoyed it, personally.

And in "Mysterious Ways" Bono refers to God in the feminine. Even my late Mom thought that was cool. ;-)

Elena said...

By far the disclaimer is the best part!!!
you shouldn't worry so much about how people might missunderstand what is clearly humorous..it's their problem if they don't get it.
With this strip you just gave christians an explanation to the existence and extinction of dinosaurs!!
delete it or we might be looking into another dark age!!!!

Lori said...

the last disclaimer was the funniest, and reminded me of some comments i read on a blog which asked people if they would consider piercing certain body parts. most of the men replied with "hell no! ain't no metal going any where near my penis!"

Old Bogus said...

A perfect summary of the bible! And I loved the 'toon!

Joshthecartoonguy said...

"If 'He' created all of the myriad types, groups, ethnicities, and nationalities of people on earth, why choose any one specific group to be your favorite?"

1. Grace.

2. I know you don't believe in Christ anyway, but one reason why God would provide the Jews with special protection is that He knew they would be the ancestors of Christ.

Idsvil said...

Did you hear the one about the dyslexic atheist?
He doesn't believe in DOG.
Old and corny, I know.
Also, I think the way you draw dogs
is brilliant, Mr. P. When I see their smiles, I smile.

Nowax said...

I prefer a Wultizer.

Anonymous said...

It's not supposed to be chosen as in favourite, it's supposed to chosen as in "chosen for extra responsibilities". That's why Jews are supposed to abide by whole list of laws and rule, yet non-Jews are only supposed to abide by the Noahide Laws. To be chosen to is to carry a burden, for no extra reward.

Anonymous said...

The first part of your problem's solved Mr. Piraro (sorta) if you look to Hindusim, where the Gods are both He and She...and yes they do require their reproductive parts cause Gods and Godesses have Kids too .

The other one, well, I know I'm going to regret saying this out loud, but doesn't everybody like to think that they're the chosen one, that they're much better...

With regards to Judaism, even if you had been a Slave in the BC era, I believe it would have been quite a tough job to get people to leave that life and go on to an uncharted desert where they'd have to wander and struggle for so many years without some sort of motivation.

That's why when the crowd got rowdy n I've heard it did, Moses said (/ God said to Moses to say) "Hey You, God chose you; would you say that the God, the Guy who's helped free you and has promised us Stuff, who's like, totally all powerful and fabulous Is Wrong, is that what you're trying to say....I thought not. Now more walk less talk" or something to that effect . (If you can't find it in the Bible, you've not read it enough times)

I dunno. I may be made to eat my words later (Mostly at Gunpoint) but that's what I think, as yet.

ur Fan,
Dee Sh


P.S.: I've got no problems with anyone thinking anything as long as they don't hurt any innocent for no Good reason. This is just one small opinion.

btw, really sorry for the long post, brevity's not really my strongest point

doug nicodemus said...

you crack me up..i bet arod could play soccer...for a minute or two

doug nicodemus said...

ok cancel that please...

june said...

Excellent as well as amusing observations. It's a mystery to me why so many hang on to these bizarre beliefs.

doug nicodemus said...

i love my penis but sometimes not your ark jokes...the food one was better...dare i say great for a vegatarian

Karl said...

I love the fact that in the cartoon, Noah (I'm assuming it's him speaking) uses the expression "Dang."
Good thing he didn't use the lord's name in vain.

Anonymous said...

btw, I really do wonder, Mr. Piraro what if Noah Had really forgotton certain animals and why, oh why did he not swat those mosquitos.

TC

ur Fan,
Dee Sh

Brian said...

Why didn't god chose the Chinese, they were masters at writting and reading before the Israelites came to exist. Even before any other semitic tribes of the area?

Why did he chose the most illiterate culture at the time?

I know, because they invented god, and due to a series of historic events (roman empire / catholic church)we all became christians.

PIRARO said...

@Brian...
I'm sure the Chinese god DID choose them as his/her/its chosen people in one way or another. That's how it works. All cultures have creation myths and divine profits that exalt them over all others (humans cultures and non-human animals) and holy scriptures that give them inside info on how the world works. Buddha is one notable exception since he is not thought to have been "divine."

Jodie said...

If people would just live and let live... then people of different religions could get along. That's my pet peave and why I'm a Unitarian Universalist. We believe that each person is responsible for their own beliefs / theology. An atheist can sit beside a buddhist beside a jew... and all be together in community that supports them all.

Jan said...

"and yes they do require their reproductive parts cause Gods and Godesses have Kids too ."

Gotta love this sentance!