Wednesday, June 24, 2009

My Ass and Yours

Bizarro is brought to you today by Budget Colonoscopy.

Now that I'm 50, I'm supposed to periodically pay a stranger to probe my rectum with a garden hose. I'm referring to what the strangers in this business call a "colonoscopy," of course. Yes, it can save your life, but yes, it can also give you nightmares for years. Plus, it is expensive.

It would be hard enough to force myself to make this appointment and do all the revolting things necessary to achieve the "end" result, if it were free. (Like eating nothing the day before, drinking sludge to make you poop like a rabid camel for 24 hours, jet propulsion-strength farting and pooping after the garden hose is removed, etc.) But on top of the insult and injury involved, they also insist you pay them large quantities of money.

Since I'm self employed, I have no discount health insurance plan through work, so I'm forced to pay these things out of my own pocket at insurance-company prices, or pay the equivalent of a luxury car payment to an insurance company every month just in case I one day need it. It's legalized extortion.

I'm rooting for Obama's universal health care thingy, but I'm not holding my breath over it. That activity is reserved for hoping I don't have butt cancer. Lifelong vegans virtually never get colon cancer, but I've only been eating that way since 2002. Apparently all the carcasses I consumed for the previous 40+ years can have a residual effect and literally come back to bite me on the ass.

Since this was a fairly dark posting, here is a funny picture to pick you up.

9 comments:

Karl said...

For health reasons it's probably a good idea getting one of those candid camera shots. However, my demented brain looks at it slightly differently. I feel if anyone is interested in looking up my behind, they should have to pay. And for fifty bucks I'd probably let them. Although I'd be watching very nervously for what they were holding in their hands.

Josh said...

Wouldn't universal health care end up costing you more than you pay the insurance company in premiums?

I realize this is off-topic, but this video makes a point similar to what is being discussed with Obama's health-care program: people are calling a program that forcefully takes money from you "compassionate"

"Cynicism is hateful" http://crackle.com/c/Penn_Says#id=2477425&ml=o%3D12%26fpl%3D377781%26fx%3D

- Penn gets into an argument with a friend who believes the government should use force to "redistribute" wealth so that the poor won't revolt, and calls his friend on his cynical insult towards both the poor and the rich.

Footnote: Again, I am not a right-winger. I'm a libertarian.

Josh said...

Addendum to my last post:

http://www.lp.org/blogs/donny-ferguson/research-government-run-health-care-more-expensive-than-private-care

Research: Government-run health care MORE expensive than private care

posted by Donny Ferguson on Jun 23, 2009

Health care researcher Dr. Jeffrey H. Anderson, writing in today's Investor's Business Daily, reveals the troubling findings of research into government-run health care programs. Despite Barack Obama's promises that his proposed government takeover of doctor's offices will somehow reduce costs, the facts show exactly the opposite is true.

You may click here to read the column. Dr. Anderson writes, in part:

The results are clear: Since 1970 — even without the prescription drug benefit — Medicare's costs have risen 34% more, per patient, than the combined costs of all health care in America apart from Medicare and Medicaid, the vast majority of which is purchased through the private sector.

Since 1970, the per-patient costs of all health care apart from Medicare and Medicaid have risen from $364 to $7,119, while Medicare's per-patient costs have risen from $368 to $9,634. Medicare's costs have risen $2,511 more per patient.

These conclusions are true despite very generous treatment of Medicare. My study counts Medicare's prescription drug expenditures as part of privately purchased care, rather than as part of Medicare. It counts health care purchased privately by Medicare and Medicaid beneficiaries (including Medicare copayments and Medigap insurance) among the costs of private care, without counting its recipients among those receiving private care — thereby magnifying private care's per-person costs. And it doesn't adjust for cost-shifting from Medicare to private entities.

Libertarians have a better idea to reduce costs and ensure quality, affordable, univerally-available care:

* Allow taxpayers to deduct the costs of their health insurance from their income taxes.

* Repeal health insurance mandates that force Americans to pay for treatments they won't ever use.

* Scrap unneeded and unnecessary regulations that keep life-saving drugs and treatments off the market. Such regulations are often supported by health care lobbyists and are intended to freeze out competing products and companies.

* Allow Americans to shop for health insurance across state lines, forcing insurers to compete.

Anonymous said...

This post made me laugh out loud! Thanks so much I needed that!

RobR said...

A decade ago I had a sigmoidoscopy (hose goes up only half way) and on the car ride home I turned the radio on and the song playing consisted of a single line repeated multiple times, each with the emphasis on a different word:
I did not ask for the anal probe,
I did not ask for the anal probe...

Should have been playing in the waiting room.

Waldo said...

Josh: William Ford did a research for Ford to determine how a socialized med plan would effect (or affect) them - company costs and potential sales. His team determined that the individual taxes would rise by roughly $1,000 per person but the cost that is built into each car (because of their current health insurance costs) was $1,500. Thus he theorized that each car would (could) be reduced by $1,500 if our uncle sam covered the bill. (Of course this would not change the prices at the stores that screw their employees - still Walmart?)

Unlike the dittoheads (why brag that they have no thoughts of their own? Another topic...) who follow their Oxy leader, the concept that overhead costs for our American companies would be DRASTICALLY reduced seems to be overlooked. Which would make us more competitive...

Oz has a tiered system where they have a generic base (something like medicare) and then anyone can (or their company) buy additional coverage to increase there health care coverage. More coverage to see the better clinics and hospitals. But at least all are covered and I will not be paying (via taxes) for the uninsured who go to the emergency room becasue they could not afford to get he hangnail fixed before it became serious.

Tiffany said...

You're 50?!?! I thought you were around 35! Dang, if becoming a vegan makes you look so young, count me in!

Nowax said...

I'm catching up with your posts (relatives).

Hey, don't think that eating right and staying fit is going to save you from a disease. There a lot of other diseases out there with which you may end up being afflicted with. Which is why you should be concerned about Obama's healthcare plan!! If not for yourself, than for others.

I've had two relatives die because they didn't have health insurance, and I have some health problems of my own. You don't know how bad health care is in America until you get sick.

Kristi Smart Romantic Fantasy Coats and Clothing. said...

I found this blog by searching "How to make an epaulet" in images.
Go figure.
As an uninsured Amurican who is seven weeks older than M.J. I just wanted to chime in here saying its nice to know where Bush's brain is but its hardly a surprise to me.
We need real health care reform. Lets hope for the best and be willing to settle for something that gets us further down the path. I just hope I survive it all.