Monday, December 29, 2008

Santa Slim

(For a SUPER HOLIDAY SIZE look at this cartoon, click on the image!)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Family Holiday Visits

I had a lovely holiday last week, hope you did, too. Unless you didn't celebrate a holiday last week, in which case I hope you had a lovely, regular day of no particular significance. Unless you are a rotten person who makes the world a worse place for your having been in it, in which case I hope you got what was coming to you and you're reading this blog from the bottom of a pit in the wilderness. Don't bother posting your location in the comments section, either, nobody is coming to rescue you. Should have thought of that before you made the world a worse place.

This week is New Years Day, depending on your religion and culture. Don't forget to set you clocks back to 1959 and party with this dude.


Warwak said...

Ho Ho Ho Dan,
You found me!
Peace and light,

Josh said...

Well folks, the new year is merely a few days away, and like that great fraud... I mean "prophet" Nostradamus, I have consulted with the mystic powers to divine what will await us in 2009. Behold the future!

- I predict that liberals across America will be very angry and bitter when Barack Obama doesn't instantly improve everything and fails to transform the country into the happy hippie wonderland they desire.

- I predict that Hillary Clinton will be the Dick Cheney of the Obama administration.

- I predict that after a disastrous presidency, George W. Bush will go into hiding and will not be seen again for at least 10 years. Dick Cheney will return to his coffin until the Dark Lord summons him to bring about Armageddon.

- I predict that in the wake of Proposition 8, bullshitting busybodied bureaucrats will enact more laws and proposals to restrict the freedoms of the American people.

- I predict that under Barack Obama's presidency, the government will become much larger and more intrusive.

- I predict that there will be violence between Israelis and Palestinians (okay, that one's kind of a given).

- I predict that the film "Watchmen" will kick major ass.

- I predict the release of a new Sonic the Hedgehog game that won't suck.

- I predict that while Conan O'Brien will prosper when he takes over "The Tonight Show", Jimmy Fallon will fail miserably when he takes over Conan's spot.

- I predict that Castro, Ahmadinejad, Kim Jong-Il and Hugo Chavez will become even more insane (another given).

- I predict that in spite of repeated promises that our troops will be withdrawn from Iraq as soon as possible, someone will pull from their ass a foolish reason as to why they need to stay longer.

- I predict that liberals and conservatives will continue to respond to one another with hatred and harsh criticism instead of trying to find common ground (that one is a definite given).

- I predict that "The Simpsons" will become funny again (I know it's a longshot, but that's what the stars told me.)

- I predict that no matter what comes our way in 2009, we will all try to make the best of it and live our lives as well as we can, helping others and trying to make things better.

Happy new year.

julianmaestas said...

wait-was this the xmas cartoon that you said you got tons of hatemail about dan??? it's not hatemail worthy, as far as i'm concerned. although it was a little on the preachy side.

SAYOTTE316 said...

your a day late on this posting, dont you now some of us live for this post ..

My cousin fido included.. his announcemnets are needed..

Btw...funny cartoon today with the clowns..i saw it in the la times


Johnny said...

And instead of lumps of coal, he gives out batteries, size "AAAAAA".

derekamalo said...


I had vowed never to post on here again. Now you give me no choice. I must see if your still alive and find out computer status update.

Happy New Year everyone!

munchy365 said...

"I predict the release of a new Sonic the Hedgehog game that won't suck."

No. You're wrong. That will never happen. Ever. It breaks all the known laws of the universe. And all the unknown laws of the universe. It's not physically possible. Sorry.

Becci said...

Hey Dan, I just wanted to tell you that we bought your "Art of Dan Piraro" book today and we already love it!!! (Especially the AR section. You are the best!)

TF said...

Shouldn't the sled be solar powered?
And any good Santa should have a big-ass gun.


PIRARO said...

No, this wasn't the one that got the hate mail. That one ran on Xmas day and will be posted later this week.

derekamalo said...

thanks D, for the letter response..

i hope you feel beter
and i apologize for sending the same letter 4 times out of 8 letters sent

Nashe^ said...

LOL!!! I totally loved that, especially the beard part..!

Josh said...

Oh, I forgot a prediction:

- I predict that Sarah Palin will get her own talk show. Still hazy as to whether or not it will be just as dumb as other daytime talk shows, or even more stupid.

PIRARO said...

I PRAY you're right, Josh, and Palin gets her own TV show for two reasons:
1) She's hilarious
2) Attention is all she really wants. If she's on TV, we don't have to worry about the nation succumbing to mass idiocy (again) and electing her to a federal office.

Josh said...

Thanks for the response, Dan. What did you think of my other predictions?

billibaldi said...

New years's eve 1959, wasn't that when Michael told Fredo that he knew it was him that allowed the attack on the Nevada compound?

PIRARO said...

I agree with most of your predictions. I don't think ALL liberals expect O to fix things immediately, however. Well-informed citizens know it isn't possible, and liberals tend to be better informed than conservative voters. (That's been proven in surveys, by the way, it isn't just my opinion.)

I'm not keen on your prediction that Hillary will become the new Cheney, either. Not that power-grabbing isn't in her blood, but Bush was known for dodging responsibility, O is a different sort. I don't think he'll allow anyone to grab the reigns the way Cheney did.

I also have hopes we can slowly defeat the sort of bigotry that leads to things like Prop 8. It won't happen completely, nor overnight, but I hope to live long enough to see a time when we look back and cannot believe what we used to accept as a country. Much the way I do now about the kind of racial prejudice that was acceptable when I was a kid in the early 60s.

Never played Hedgehog, but I hope you get a decent version. Whatever that means. :)

Good luck to us all.

Josh said...


thanks for the feedback and opinions. But as a libertarian, I think that both liberals AND conservatives can be woefully misinformed in numerous ways.