Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Senior Scooters of Saratoga.
When I was a kid, rock stars were young, rebellious, and if not good-looking then at least taut-skinned. It was important that they were the opposite of your parents. No one over 35 was even drumming in a band, much less the front man. Now, Rolling Stones concerts have a large disability section up front for the senior scooter and wheelchair crowd, four of whom are on stage. Keith Richard has enough extra skin on his face to build a puppy. Mick Jagger is beginning to look like my chain-smoking, hard-drinking Aunt Ruby.
As a guy who is well over forty but still incredibly cool, I cheer these wrinkly roll models with one hand and cover my eyes with the other. I hope I'm still rocking it when I'm Jagger's age, but I hope I don't have to swing from the rafters from a bullwhip to get my jollies.