Monday, June 16, 2008

The National Coffin

Today's Bizarro is brought you by Pessimists Amalgamated. "The glass is half full, but it's half full of poison!"

I'm not a pessimist, but I'm very pessimistic about certain things. Like many pessimists, I call myself a "realist."

One thing I'm realistic about is the upcoming election. In a reasonable world, Obama would win in a record-breaking landslide: Bush is the least popular president in nearly 100 years, the economy is in the toilet and a finger is pressing on the flush handle, our reputation worldwide is in the gutter, gas will be $5/gallon by November, according to legal experts, our constitution is in crisis, McCain's policies are the same as Bush's or MORE in the direction that nailed us into our current coffin. It's a no-brainer.

A part of me thinks Obama will win in spite of the combination of stupid, blind patriotism and racism that will account for 90% of the votes against him. But the realist in me is bracing for another close election that the Republicans can steal at the local level. I'm not an alarmist, but that would be national suicide.

If McCain wins, it will change this country for a very long time. Forget what disasters will befall our economy, our troops, our international reputation – the Supreme Court will become a fascist juggernaut for decades to come, and nothing short of an armed uprising will be able to stop them.

If you don't already have a passport, you might want to apply for it before the election. If Obama loses, those offices will be mighty crowded.


Benjamin Baxter said...

I don't like Bush as much as the next guy, but it's unfair to say the GOP stole the election. They simply ran a better race. In fact, a much, much better race.

Kerry didn't inspire confidence, even if only based on the infighting between him and the chair of the Democratic Party. He didn't show, and compellingly, that he was competent and genuinely qualified, and so he represented the evil Americans didn't know, which can never win against the evil Americans do know.

"3 Thighs" Piraro said...

I agree the Republicans have run better races, though not more ethical, but a lot of investigation has been done on both elections and they were not won completely legally.

Exit polling, which is the most accurate polling there is (because how many people have the motivation to lie about who they voted for moments before?) showed Kerry way ahead all night. Electronic voting machines with no paper trail (built by Diebold, whose owner said he "would do anything to assure a Bush victory")showed large discrepancies in Democratic areas. Tens of thousands of legal voters were purged from voting rolls because their name was similar to a convict in another state, all done by Republicans to likely Democrats. The list goes on and on.

Bobby Kennedy wrote a lengthy article about it for Rolling Stone magazine a few years back, with lots of corroborating evidence. Too lazy to find it myself right now, but you can probably google it.

One thing I know for sure, politicians on either side of any aisle, anywhere in the world cannot be trusted not to steal an election if it is possible to do so. I think that believing America is exempt from such practices is a fatal mistake at any point in history.

doug nicodemus said...

obama can win alright if we get off the past and move into the future...anyway i am hoping gas is 7$$ a gallon by november...but here is a thought experiment that i stole from the "peak oil" people...what would you do if you woke up tomorrow and gas was a 100$$ a gallon?

pepe165 said...

I woke up from a good dream last night. I was driving a powerful bio-diesel hybrid from my "green-certified" job. Humming along the freeway along with so many "green" car and where are the new SUVs and Hummers are what? I was listening to President Al Gore's State of the Union. He was speaking to all the good senate, all democrats, independents, and a very tiny group of whining republicans. He presented that his new foreign policy brought Africa to it's feet, established firm relationship with World powers over economy. He congratulated USofA and the world for fighting against global warming. He congratulated to a group of Green Berets for capturing Osama Bin Laden in Afganistan and stated that Taliban are totally gone, thanks to the cooperation of Pakistan and our new friends in Iran. He also congratulated to Iran for assisting USofA and Pakistan getting Afganistan back on it's feet. I listened to all the good news. Life's good, everything's slowing down, housing market's taking an easy, getting a job was easy, everyone's happy. Saddam's still trying to stay in power but there's a revolution in Iraq now and it's on the news. We haven't been there yet. There were NO in Iraq War in my dream, no foreclosures, and so on. Global warming is slowing down. Then, boom, I woke up, it's 8am. It was surreal. Life's crazy, everything flushing down the toilet. Bush dancing "nyah, nyah, nyah! I fuck you up and I won, pffff!" Partying with other Republicans not giving a crap of what's goes on in the world! OO, dang, I am still living in a nightmare! Shit!

Man, them Republicans really stole the election on purpose. In 50 years or so, it'll be in the history book after all classified information are released. Bush and his Cohort STOLE the election and the dream, PERIOD!!

Lady Wolf's Notes said...

Yes, that's how I see it, too; you said it well.

That the 2000 and 2004 election travesties actually happened shocked me to the core and took away my ability to believe in our electoral process.

Now I don't have any "optimism", but am clinging to "hope" -- hope that enough Americans will vote for Obama to make it a landslide victory for him (and that no tricksters can manipulate McCain into office).

The coming election truly will be our country's most significant pivotal moment for a very, very long time.

Clara Landau

ITTMI said...

My mom won't vote for Obama because he used to be Muslim. It doesn't matter to her that he converted to Christianity.
Racism isn't a problem here, but prejudice about how he grew up is.
...I plan to never tell her that I'm an atheist...

uglymuffin said...

It's really easy to whine and say that Bush stole the election and everything is going to crap and it's all his fault etc.
There is not chance of the economy to turn around if we elect a socialist to the White House. Our energy infrastructure is already taxed to a breaking point and Obama wants to weaken it further. Oil is not only about gas, it's about our food, clothing, cleaning supplies, electronics, and even bike tires. We should be building more refineries, which with todays technology would be many many times more "green" then our 30 year old refineries. Also, we need to stop burning our food supplies as "bio-fuels" and focus on other more reasonable fuel alternatives.
Thirdly, we should help the economy but diverting some of the funds that are wasted on fight the man-made global warming myth and getting the horrific national debt under control. The Earth may be warming, but it's not man's fault. Our planet has warming and cooling cycles, it's a natural process. Another natural process would be volcanoes, which have been known to spew many times more greenhouse gases into the atmosphere in one eruption then all the cars and factories have ever produced since the Industrial Revolution. I think we should stop worrying about non-harmful carbon emissions and focus on reduction of trash, toxic wastes, and other heavy metal pollutants that really cause harm. I know some reader will be offended by my post, if it's posted, but I want to say that I'm all for preserving the planet, but please focus on real dangers, not fake ones.

groovy girl said...

I am definately an optimist. The idea of McCain winning is just too horrible to imagine. We will truely be lost.
And to the old bat that on national t.v. said she wouldn't vote for Obama because he is Muslim...STOP VOTING! Your brain has ceased to function.