Today's Bizarro is brought you by Pessimists Amalgamated. "The glass is half full, but it's half full of poison!"
I'm not a pessimist, but I'm very pessimistic about certain things. Like many pessimists, I call myself a "realist."
One thing I'm realistic about is the upcoming election. In a reasonable world, Obama would win in a record-breaking landslide: Bush is the least popular president in nearly 100 years, the economy is in the toilet and a finger is pressing on the flush handle, our reputation worldwide is in the gutter, gas will be $5/gallon by November, according to legal experts, our constitution is in crisis, McCain's policies are the same as Bush's or MORE in the direction that nailed us into our current coffin. It's a no-brainer.
A part of me thinks Obama will win in spite of the combination of stupid, blind patriotism and racism that will account for 90% of the votes against him. But the realist in me is bracing for another close election that the Republicans can steal at the local level. I'm not an alarmist, but that would be national suicide.
If McCain wins, it will change this country for a very long time. Forget what disasters will befall our economy, our troops, our international reputation – the Supreme Court will become a fascist juggernaut for decades to come, and nothing short of an armed uprising will be able to stop them.
If you don't already have a passport, you might want to apply for it before the election. If Obama loses, those offices will be mighty crowded.