Thursday, December 9, 2010

Law of Cable

Bizarro is brought to you today by New York Living.

The weather here in Brooklyn today is less than what one would hope for if one wanted to sunbathe nude on the roof of one's building. Which I do not, but it's still nice to know I have that option if the whim should hit me. But I do not have that option today, at least not unless I want to lose extremities I may want to use again later. The locals call it "winter," but I call it "way-too-ass-biting-cold-and-it-gets-dark-too-early-why-haven't-I-moved-to-the-tropics-yet?"

Speaking of the roof of my building, CHNW (wife) and I recently received a letter from a lawyer informing us that we are being sued because a cable TV worker tripped over some debris on our roof, fell into our backyard, crashed through our patio furniture and broke his back. This struck us as odd since we both work at home, our patio furniture is still in tact, and neither of us can recall any ambulance workers rushing through our house – which is the only way into our backyard. Was he airlifted out by a silent helicopter? we asked. Did he replace the patio furniture before taking off? If so, we certainly do owe him some money because that was just damned considerate.

As it turns out, he fell off of a different building which stands behind ours and over a fence. We rarely keep our patio furniture (or legal liability) in our neighbor's yard, which explained why we were unaware of the episode. The address of the offending building sports a different number and street name, so it is unclear why they addressed their complaint to us, but such are the mysteries of Time Warner. Perhaps our neighbor doesn't have cable and the cable guy got the wrong building in the first place.

We were relieved to hear it was not our building, but disappointed that we could not respond by telling them we would appear in court between the hours of 9am and 7pm on the date specified, but only if someone over 18 took the day off work to wait.

This story has nothing to do with these two cartoons, of course, but then neither does anything else. Hope you enjoyed them and it all the same.


ojeano said...

Reminds me of the time I got a parking ticket when parked legally only to find it was a ticket meant for someone else's car. Except in that case, nobody got hurt.

9am-7pm retort reached more people in this venue anyway, and saved a judge from having to stifle a healthy laugh.

Happy for the rescued clowns!

Melinda said...

haha! Great cartoons and great story! I can't imagine how baffled you must have been when trying to make sense of the outdoor furniture that apparently pushes people off roofs. Weird!

ldisme said...

Cablegate is more extensive than I thought.

Fred said...

Its the "spaghetti on the wall" theory of lawsuits. Law firms just throw up stuff and when it sticks, they are done.

There's no disincentive for them to get it right. So they don't.

Gitte said...

In Norway, temperatures have varied from -15 to -20 ºC the last week. (5 - -4 ºF). Today was actually quite warm in comparison: 25 ºF.

B. Avakian said...

Blast! I was hoping you would hire me as counsel so I could continue to procrastinate and avoid writing this family law final exam that is due tomorrow morning and began preparing to defend against these preposterous charges. I think studying old Jackie Chiles clips on youtube would serve as proper preparation for such a case. And I would have only asked for that silent helicopter of yours to cover my legal fees.
Oh well, at least those clowns survived.

patrick said...

Reading that back page, it appears that Sarah P's book is out.

Anonymous said...

dont kid yourself your jokes alone are garbage