Friday, August 22, 2008

Fueling Fools

Bizarro is brought to you today by Alien Technology Corporation.

I'm not a person who embraces the spiritual, mystical, mythical, or ethereal. I don't believe in Big Foot or Zeus or psychic phenomenon or ghosts. I used to add UFOs to that list without hesitation, but now I'm not so sure.

I've not had a UFO experience of any kind – unless you count the time I came across this Unusually Fetching Obelisk – but I've heard enough reputable people stand up before the press and say they have that it opens my mind a bit.

A smart guy once wrote that mathematically speaking, extra-terrestrial life is a possibility. Even if there is only a one-in-a-billion chance of intelligent life evolving on another planet, since there are a billion billion planets, that means that there should be a billion planets with intelligent life. That's all hypothetical, of course, but you get the idea.

If there were a billion planets with intelligent life, it is not impossible to believe that one or more of them might have been intelligent enough to invent a way to span huge expanses of space quickly and efficiently. In other words, they may have developed a better way to propel themselves around than exploding drops of liquid in a tin can. That technology has worked well for us here on Earth, but it is beginning to wear out its welcome. It is high time that we think outside the pump and invent some better way to get around.

If aliens are visiting earth and poking around, I hope they come to my comedy shows in San Francisco and Oakland in a couple of weeks. How much fun would it be to look out into the audience and see a couple of giant, green heads with big football-shaped eyes? I could riff on that for thirty minutes. We could hang out after for a drink, then they could give me a lift back to where I'm staying before they head back to their hotel.

An evening well worth the trip out West.


derekamalo said...

okay reason why this one struck me as funny...once again piraro manages to put the correct characte in the situation...meaning these space people could be meetig up with anyone in their backywards..'

however piraro decided to have these guys run into a diesel truck worker... possibly an independent...who elese has gotten hit harder during this energy crisis

good job its things like that that dont get noticed in punchlines..

Anonymous said...

I think most people just want to laugh. But that's just me.

derekamalo said...

fran im sorry but im calling the cops...invasion of privacy carries 40- life in prison....and so does false claims..

Anonymous said...

By "cops" you mean the day nurse, right?

fido said...

as most of you may know my grandpa or as they say in french pepere possesses a virgin ass

fran you need to get a life sweetheart and stopposting jobberish

Jezzka said...

hehe, i liked how you subtly turned aliens bringing renewable energy sources, to aliens coming to your comedy shows. well, i am not an alien of any kind, but i do have four eyes, so, i shall make it to, at least one of your lovely shows as i will be back from LA LA Land by then. as always, i have a grand ol' good time at them! i'll see if i can round up a few hobos to come too.

will you be singing? i do love it when you belt those high notes like whitney houston...very glam.

flaviano said...

aliens sure are coming next months, republicans needs more votes to fill the gap. oh and the only reason for aliens to leave their planet is searching for gasoline at less than 2.50 zykron-dollars per gallon including taxes...but they will have a big suprise.

thanks for your daily work!

HollyBerry said...

omg.. the michael jackson pictures always get me. and the fact that they are right after one another just made me smack my forehead that much harder.