Bizarro is brought to you today by Nut-Gathering Robots.I'm proud to present to you today one of my favorite cartoons in ages. The 21st Century Freakshow is brilliant, and I can say that without fear of immodesty because I didn't write it. (Damn!) I think I did a good job of drawing it (be sure to click it to see the larger version) but the
original idea and sketch, pretty much in this form, came from my brilliant friend, colleague, and occasional collaborator,
Wayno. I hate his guts. And I love him for donating this idea to Bizarro. He's a mensch.
The first
state fair I ever attended was in Tulsa, Oklahoma around 1972 or so and back then they still had the
old-school freak shows which consisted mostly of
deformed people in cheap costumes. The "Abominable Snowman" was a guy with elephantitis of the feet, wearing a fake-fur caveman outfit and holding a big club. The
"Alligator Girl" was a very old woman in a bikini whose entire body was covered in a scaly skin disorder of some kind. They sat all day in a plywood cubicle sort of thing inside a tent and you paid your money and went up and looked over the wall to
see them. The look on their faces could be described as zombiesque and who could blame them? It's also worth noting that one of the attractions was invariably
"The Fat Lady." At the time, a 300 lbs. woman was a rare sight, but they were no bigger than the
average Walmart shopper of today.
Though still not to my taste, the
freak shows of today are much more interesting, for my money. They are primarily people who do really weird things, like picking up a Buick by connecting a chain to the loop in their pierced tongue, or someone who has tattooed their entire body with all 44 presidents of The United States. I'm glad the old freak shows are gone, but I'm also
glad I got to see one before they disappeared. I'm not sure why, just one of those odd experiences that one can appreciate in retrospect. At the time, however, I found it sad and haunting.
Speaking of freaks, next up is this gorilla cartoon which probably isn't all that funny to non-vegan folks. When you tell people you don't eat any animal products, the first question they often ask is "where do you get your protein?" The idea that humans need mounds of bloody animal protein to be strong and healthy is medically untrue; a myth perpetuated by the meat and dairy industries. There is plenty enough protein in plants to be healthy and strong, as any of the many huge, strong herbivores can attest: gorillas, rhinos, giraffes, cattle, etc. Children raised on vegan diets (after they finish their own
mother's milk, of course) are many times less likely to develop most of your big diseases like cancers, diabetes, heart disease, obesity, etc. And they grow just as tall (but not as wide) as their burger-eating peers.
Don't forget to tell your NY area friends to come to
The Steam Powered Hour on Sunday night where I'll be doing some music and comedy. Empty rooms are not good for comedy.
Bizarro is brought to you today by Before and After.
Next stop, weight loss. Almost all of us could maintain a healthy weight if we ate natural foods and exercised, but it's just too tempting to eat delicious, readily-accessible, inexpensive junk food and watch TV instead of exercise. I fall prey to this, too, in my vegan way. It's the world we live in, waddyagonnado?
The early hands-free phone is an idea from my friend Michael Capozzola. It's an opportunity for a fun pic. Check out some of Capo's stand-up comedy. His routine on "cougars" is terrific.
These last two gags are about females who eat their mates and a male that probably should have been eaten long ago. Hope you get a smile.
Bizarro is brought to you today by Ageless Heroism.
It's a fun visit, but can be emotionally taxing. My family is great, no problems there (except for my brother's wife who drinks constantly and inevitably pulls me into a closet at my parent's house and tries to make out with me) but seeing how the old stomping grounds and its inhabitants have changed is a challenge.
Bizarro is brought to you today by Talent!
The next item on today's menu is the duck gag. I've spent some time on a shrink's couch (only figuratively, I've never seen an actual psychiatrist, just psychologists, and I've never had one that wanted me to lie down, somewhat to my disappointment) and none of them have been ducks. But if they were, I imagine they might say something like this and I would be surprised and maybe giggle a bit. Hence, a cartoon. I hope you like it and if you didn't, please don't leave a mean comment on this post because my therapist says I'm fragile right now.
Bizarro is brought to you today by Intimacy. 
Because I'm compiling cartoons for my super hero collection coming out in the spring, I'm still writing super hero gags. The one about the bus is a fantasy I've had many times. I loathe sitting next to strangers on public transportation, especially talkative ones, and will do almost anything to avoid it. I'm a friendly guy, but I can't stand small talk and think few things are worse than sitting next to a chatty traveler on a long flight.
So let's make it a short post: Shoot yourself in the foot/aim higher. I like the gag, the art is kind of dull, but whatever.
Lastly, here's a cartoon that ran on this day in 1996. I'm not great at math, but that's over ten years ago!
Bizarro is brought to you today by Other Cool Guys With Hats.
Maybe this don't sound so busy to youse guys, but I normally work 8 or 10 hours each day, seven days a week to get all the crap done that is necessary to keep Bizarro Headquarters afloat. As they say in Alabama, I'm as busy as a racist at a hip-hop festival.
Lastly, the old cartoon from my archives today is one that appeared when most people only saw my cartoons in actual newspapers. It doesn't work so well on the Interwebs, but feel free to lick your finger and try it. My favorite part is the last headline on the bottom of the front page. Click the image to read it more big.
Speaking of freaks, next up is this gorilla cartoon which probably isn't all that funny to non-vegan folks. When you tell people you don't eat any animal products, the first question they often ask is "where do you get your protein?" The idea that humans need mounds of bloody animal protein to be strong and healthy is medically untrue; a myth perpetuated by the meat and dairy industries. There is plenty enough protein in plants to be healthy and strong, as any of the many huge, strong herbivores can attest: gorillas, rhinos, giraffes, cattle, etc. Children raised on vegan diets (after they finish their own mother's milk, of course) are many times less likely to develop most of your big diseases like cancers, diabetes, heart disease, obesity, etc. And they grow just as tall (but not as wide) as their burger-eating peers.
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