Crime and Sniffing

Bizarro is brought to you today by Other Cool Guys With Hats.

Good lord, this is a busy week at Bizarro International Headquarters. I'm doing a comedy set at Caroline's on Broadway tomorrow night, then Thursday is my birthday (hit "Donate" button at right, send money), then Friday night I'm one of the judges at Literary Death Match (a really unusual show full of improv, you'll likey), then Saturday morning I have to bounce (the young people use this word to mean "go") up to Woodstock Sanctuary to MC our annual Thanksliving dinner on Sunday.

Maybe this don't sound so busy to youse guys, but I normally work 8 or 10 hours each day, seven days a week to get all the crap done that is necessary to keep Bizarro Headquarters afloat. As they say in Alabama, I'm as busy as a racist at a hip-hop festival.

I usually celebrate my birthday each year by dressing like a hobo and hanging around the grounds of the governor's mansion, but this year I'm going to ignore it entirely and stay home. CHNW will likely make my favorite dinner (salt soup!) and we'll watch reruns of Hogan's Heroes. Ja wohl!

To come see me at Caroline's, click here for info.
To come see me at Literary Death Match, click here for info.
To see me at Woodstock Sanctuary, click here but it's sold out so sorry.

The bummer is that this weekend is also the New York Comic Con, which I'd like to drop into but probably won't have time.

Lastly, the old cartoon from my archives today is one that appeared when most people only saw my cartoons in actual newspapers. It doesn't work so well on the Interwebs, but feel free to lick your finger and try it. My favorite part is the last headline on the bottom of the front page. Click the image to read it more big.

Dr. Prevaricator

Bizarro is brought to you today by a Visit to the Doctor.

Regular readers will remember that two days ago I claimed it was my birthday and that I was off to the doctor for my yearly checkup. Both things happened, here is the update:

1. Because of my birthday claim, a handful of you donated funds to my paypal account and received a personal email of thanks from me. I am touched. My heart is weeping. I feel goo in my shoes. Honestly, you are too kind and I assure you that the money will not be spent on booze, courtesans, cheap cigars or flashy clothing. Nor will I spend it on unnecessary items. (ba da boom)

2.Doctor visit was fine. He looked at, around, over, and in me and found nothing alarming. He also borrowed some bodily fluids for further testing (I told him he could keep them, no need to give them back) and told me to call next week for results. I'll let you know if any particularly dark news comes my way, but I'm not expecting any, as I have no symptoms.

Except for my gushing eyes, which continue to weep from the kindness shown by those of you who hit the "donate" button at right. Garsh, I'm beside myself.

Dog Day

Bizarro is brought to you today by Navin's Cake.

I haven't had a birthday in a while, so let's say today is my birthday. Please donate lots of money to me with the PayPal donation button on the right. I'm only a little bit famous and not rich at all, so I could really use it. Go for it. If everyone who reads this blog donates just $5, I'll have over $40 to spend on something nice for myself!

I normally post a contest on Thursdays, but I'm not going to be able to today because I have to pay a relative stranger to put his finger in my butt. Yes, it's time for my yearly checkup. To find out what I'm going to die of and how soon, check this blog tomorrow.

You're dandy and deep down inside, you know it.

Stuffed Lion

Bizarro is brought to you today by Working Class Heroes.

Today is my birthday, happy birthday to me.

It isn't actually the same day of the calendar that I was born, but my "actual" birthday was nothing more than an arbitrary day out of 365, so what difference does it really make? Let's just say it was November 11th and celebrate like it's 1999.

Please send monetary gifts to me via PayPal (I.D...piraro@earthlink.net) or post:
Dan Piraro
c/o King Features
300 W 57th St
15th floor
New York, NY 10019-5238

Thanks in advance to every one of you who sends a gift. My goal is to raise enough by the end of this year to pay off my credit card debt and discover a cure for shopping.