Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Pumped up Pigeon

Bizarro is brought to your attention here today by Major League Baseball.

I am not proud of this, but in my late teens and early adulthood, I found the idea of becoming a bodybuilder appealing. It was part and parcel of the inherent masculine insecurity of my youth and I suppose I figured if I was built like Arnold Schwarzenheimer, people would know I was tough.

Now when I look at those big bumpy people, I am both repulsed by the malformation of their bodies and impressed by how much time they've spent lifting heavy things instead of doing something intellectually or creatively stimulating. Some get so big I begin to wonder if they can still wipe their own butts or reach a computer keyboard with both hands.

Of course, there is a difference between people who build their bodies for competition and people who go crazy and turn into balloon animals. I think guys (and gals) like that have a similar body image distortion problem as anorexics and plastic surgery addicts.

I enjoy exercise and sports, always have, so I've spent a fair amount of time in gyms over the years, but the thought of doing so 6 or 8 hours a day for years sounds like a prison sentence. In fact, that's pretty much a lot of prisoners actually do all day, but at least they're getting free room and board.

I don't mean to be overly judgmental, body building isn't for me but that doesn't make it wrong or worthless. I have a couple of friends who are vegan bodybuilders and they're both great guys. They enjoy bodybuilding and they're animal rights types, so they use their sport to show that one does not need animal protein or steroids to become strong and bumpy. Cheers to them.

They also still look human, which is a big plus in my book.

9 comments:

doug nicodemus said...

that was a mark mcquire bird or a jose canseco bird... pretty funny though

Magne said...

By the way, did you know Goofy eats "special" peanuts to become Super Goof? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Goof

moira said...

i work out at gold's in venice - "the mecca of bodybuilding". there are some beings whose gender and species are indistinguishable until you get up really close, which i'm afraid to do.

the interesting thing is, there's a "muscles for mutts" program on the weekends, where an average of 4 dogs per weekend are adopted by these musclemen and women.

dusanvf said...

I really like your comics and the way you write your posts, there's always some funny pics and a insight of your life, which all combine very good!.

Megan said...

Your satirical tone is almost as amusing as the time I woke myself up in my sleep by my own fart - sound not stench.

I'm compete in the lowest division of female bodybuilding. They call it 'bikini'. The general population stigmatizes our breed - bodybuilders; especially bikini (but who wouldn't judge when they here the term 'bikini').

So I suppose I defy the norm - I am a student (an intellect, if you will), an entrepreneur, an epicurean, and only spend 1.5 hours in the gym.

Oh, and I bet I am the only bikini model that will ever admit to waking herself up with her own fart... again sound not stench.

Piraro said...

@Megan...
You're the "good" kind of bodybuilder, like the two guys I described. You probably won't morph into an action figure doll. :)

@Moira...
Are you my friend from VB? If so, say hi to R!

@Magne... never hear of that before. Hilarious!

shane said...

The only thing I want to do for 1.5 hours every day is make love to my sweetie. I'd argue the health benefits are the same or better than going to the gym.

FunkyPunkyG said...

@ Shane: hell yes!

Dan, I love your posts and largely agree with your worldviews. You are also a talented artist, but you already know that!

Yes, those over-zealous bodybuilders are scary looking to me.

Anonymous said...

The Blog you posted was very interesting and inspiring that Vegan Bodybuilders do exist and can exist in the Sport and Art of Bodybuilding. Though your line about "Some get so big I begin to wonder if they can still wipe their own butts or reach a computer keyboard with both hands."

In actual Fact body builders are usually very flexible and are able to do many more things than the average person. Ronnie Coleman one of the recent Greats of Body Building in most routines will Perform the splits, showing off his muscles and proving they can stretch alot more than people think.

Body building's come along way since the beginning and its really developed into somthing everyone can find somthing they like from it. Even though i know for a fact body builders are flexible. The Joke Picture that superman cant scratch his own chins still makes me laugh.