Monday, September 1, 2008

Tall Orders

Today's Bizarro is brought to you buy Clandestine Brand String Beans.

This is one of those rare cartoons that arose from personal experience. At 6 feet 7 1/2 inches tall, I get these kinds of comments all of the time and believe me, it is very tiresome. Why must we make such shallow judgments about our fellow man based on the way they look? Assuming a tall guy plays a lot of basketball is like assuming a really hairy guy dresses up as Bigfoot on weekends and jogs through the woods.

If this kind of comment is just a way to make conversation, then why not choose something else? How about, "Gee, you smell nice. Your hygiene must be excellent." Or whatever happened to, "If I had a chance to give (name of favorite movie star) a hickey, I sure would. How about you?"

There are lots of ways to converse with strangers without making it about their physical characteristics. Take it from a hugely tall and athletic guy like me, it gets tiresome.

One final note: "Barb" from Marble Falls wrote to me and said that her beanpole nephew's usual response to the basketball question is, "No, but I imagine you play a lot of miniature golf."

I'm going to have to borrow that one.


Shortcake said...

wow i didn't know you were that tall! how's the weather up there? in new york? ha! gotcha.

yunno, that makes me think of the dumb questions people have asked me about certain traits. like, "are your glasses prescription?" my answer is always something like "no, i just wanted you to THINK i was blind." or "no, i just like to spend $250 on fake glasses so people will think that i have a lot of money to throw around."

seriously though, who asks if glasses are prescription or not? and how many people are walking around with FAKE glasses on? people also ask me if my hair is real.. because apparently they've seen enough white women wearing dreaded wigs to ask me such a dumb question. i'm wondering how many people will comment on the fact that you used a black guy to aid in your height stereotype.

isee3dtoo said...

I'm a 6'5" and I was that height when I was 14 years old. At that time, I remember getting on the elevator with 6 members of an NBA team and asking that stupid question.

Answer: "No kid, leave us alone!"

I thought it was odd they didn't play ball but then realized how stupid I was. My Dad then walked up to me and asked "Did you know the Washington Bullets are in the hotel?"

My Answer: No, really? -- I was not going to admit...

Penny said...

I'm close to six feet tall. Put a basketball in my hands and I instantly trip and fall down. My brother, 6'5", is the same way. The coaches in high school were drooling over him until they saw him (attempt) to walk.


Matt E. said...

I'm six-foot seven, slim, and to top it off I'm a black guy. I get this question from complete strangers ALL the time. But the part that really irks me is the look of disappointment I get when I say, "No, I'm a web designer actually." And the occasional suggestion that I've wasted my height. But remember – taller people tend to be smarter, so let's try to sympathize with our somewhat dimmer and shorter counterparts :)

julie said...

Dan punked you guys. That's why he linked the photo... In reality he's only 3' 5".

timmay!!!!! said...

how the hell did i end up here?

tomweberdesigns said...

I once worked at an international research corporation on the University of Hawaii campus. Students and researchers from the world over came there to study or work on their dissertations. One VERY TALL (7'-5") black PhD candidate/student from Africa always wore a black T-shirt emblazoned in huge white letters,"NO! I DO NOT PLAY BASKETBALL!"