Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Plagues

Bizarro is brought to you today by National Economy Statistics. "Open your eyes, yo. Are you kidding me with dis?"

When I look at the state of our nation over the past 7 1/2 years, it is impossible for me to believe that this election is even close. A nation populated by gophers and spider monkeys would have more sense.

The economy is in the toilet and getting worse, our allies have abandoned us (for good reason), and our constitution has been shredded. That doesn't even mention the moral dilemmas of the Iraq war, state-sanctioned torture, Guantanamo Bay, and tax breaks for the wealthiest Americans and their corporations. How is Obama not ahead by 90%?

But let's talk about moths instead. A few months ago, as suddenly as a poltergeist's sneeze, there were little moths all over my house. I don't mean like-syrup-on-a-pancake all over, I mean I see one fluttering by every hour or so, I see one on the wall or two on the ceiling, the cats regularly dance through the room chasing one, that sort of thing. I even find them in kitchen drawers. Drawers without sweaters.

I've been to the hardware store but can't find any product that might rid me of this Old Testament plague. Anyone out there got a natural remedy of some sort? Like misting the house with a solution of lemongrass, garlic and household bleach? One of those kind of things?

And if you are actually considering voting for John McCain, at least realize that McCain has voted with Bush over 90% of the time, so you're voting for four more years of Bush's policies. Not even a spider monkey could argue that.

27 comments:

anonymous said...

I've gotten that same feeling lately when I crack open the comic pages to check out the daily Bizarro.

Robert Finis said...

I'll try starting (minor) controversy this time: I believe that Sarah Palin is a disgrace to women because she didn't put herself in the position she is in, because the first major party female candidate won't have 'earned' her position. She was chosen by McCain for her gender and its effects on poll ratings, and not because of her credentials and experience (a quick check of the resumes of her republican vp competition can verify that). While I'm not a huge Hillary Clinton fan, I admire her, primarily because she put herself where she is today. If you think she had an easy ride on the coat tails of former presidents to where she is, consider how determined she must be to have a political career to stay in the public spotlight after her husband's actions, that she fought tooth and nail to come ever so close to being the democratic nominee, and that no one else chose her and lifted her up, because she chose herself. Considering that, along with her political stances, she is the polar opposite of Sarah Palin. Not only that, but voting for her to support women's issues makes no sense either, given her stances on womens rights issues. Anyone who would vote for Palin who is a former Clinton supporter is the real spider monkey. And yes, if Clinton were on the top of the Democratic ticket, I would happily voted for her.

xyling said...

"When I look at the state of our nation over the past 7 1/2 years, it is impossible for me to believe that this election is even close."

This should come as no surprise as we elected the current dope to a second term after four boneheaded years- we're obviously a country of idiots.

derekamalo said...

john mccain through the country a huge curveball when picking female vp and any female who dont think shes a plant or puppeT needs help..

even feminiSts were upset saying i thought females were smarter than this.

yes 4 more years of republicans..sigH..

but then again the democrats did it to themselves you and i know if there was a WHITE MALE WHO RAN AGaiNT OBAMA FOR FINAL DEMOCRAT SPOT he would not only be the hopeful hed be elected...is what it is


mccain of course hoping to sway female voters only where it counts electoral votes..

but as most of the world knows if there isnt a black president this year there will never be one this is as close as it will get

and yes the econmy is the biggest issue now

LOL..ANONYMOUS IS BACK..

derekamalo said...

lol


by the way on todays bizarro


but id also like to mention wikipedia.com is my favorite site

beforewisdom said...

Until about a month ago my reflex was to label claims of silent racism as frivolous.

I saw a CNN report on the history of various modern presidential elections. Whenever the job approval rating or other indicators have been below a certain point the challenging candidate has always enjoyed a healthy lead.

President Bush's administration has made history with new lows in those indicators. However, despite his obvious talents and advantages over Senator McCain, Senator Obama is never that far ahead.

The only factor left to account for that is racism.

KLZ said...

First let me get this out of the way - no way would I vote for McCain. I like Obama.

Now for the important stuff: MOTHS I don't know the proper name but I call them food moths. If I am right about what you have, you will probably have to ditch all your cereals, flours, grains, bird seed, and other products like that. Then you buy all new and put the items in well sealed containers. I have far too much experience with these babies and that is the only way to get rid of them. Look in the grains you have and you will find their larva. Pesticides are not the answer for these guys.

anonymous said...

I never left, Einstein.

Mike Duffau said...

nobody is taking this country serious anymore. we're the 'BUTT' of all jokes.

derekamalo said...

speaking of einstein anonymous you aretruly brilliant

dan everybody look i posted in my new blog anonymous's cartoon work ....look everyone

isee3dtoo said...

To talk about the cartoon:

Reality Check or Stimulus Check.

I never figured this out. I got my $600 stimulus check and I don't know how it stimulated our economy? I teach Mechanical Engineering and I understand design very well. I understand how things are made. As it turns out I was headed to a conference in Europe just after my check arrived so I bought an Apple Ipod to watch movies on the plane. How did that stimulate the American economy?

Apple is an American company but the product was made in China, it as laser engraved in China, it was shipped by FedEx but FedEx is losing money because of high fuel rates. So a little money went into the hands of people in California but did do that anything to stimulate the American economy? Answer, NO!

We got rid of manufacturing things in the US and buying things does nothing for us, it does a lot of the rich in the world but not for the average joe. So a moth and stimulus go hand in hand

anonymous said...

Man - you got me Derek.

Rui Sousa said...

Really nice, congratulations!
I invite you to visit my work at:
www.ruisousaartworks.blogspot.com

Sarah Beth said...

Dan,

Do they look like this?
http://pestcommand.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/indian_meal_moth1.jpg

If so, you sadly have a meal moth infestation. I had trouble with meal moths once -- the source turned out to be a bag of bird seed, which when I examined it was crawling with meal worms. Once I got rid of the bird seed (the source), the moths went away, as they only live a week or so naturally. There really isn't a home remedy... aside from getting rid of the source.

Check this out (especially the Control of The Indian Meal Moth section): http://www.ext.colostate.edu/pubs/insect/05598.pdf

Good luck hunting through your pantry in search of the source(s)! I hope you have success with ridding your house of your unwelcome guests.

Joshthecartoonguy said...

Derekamalo, thank you for that illegible drivel. Let me just ask this: if Palin lacks experience, does that mean experience is now a legitimate issue and I won't be called a "racist" for pointing out that Barack Obama is a one-term senator, who has never made a tough decision in his life? Furthermore, Palin is the VP. She will experience under John McCain. Obama will get on-the-job experience while making the tough choices himself. Palin did "put herself in the position she is in," Robert. John McCain did not appoint Palin as the governor of Alaska. An underdog, she took on the corrupt Republicans in power, and won the respect of the people of Alaska. She is the single most popular governor in America. I think it is sexist to suggest that the only reason she is McCain's VP is that she is a woman.
"The only factor left to account for that is racism." Of course. Obviously, it couldn't be that Obama is the most liberal member of Congress. It couldn't possibly be his friendship with unrepentant terrorists, or his twenty year association with a radical, racist church. It couldn't possibly be his lack of experience, or lack accomplishments in the Senate. The only reason anyone could possibly not support Obama is racism!

Joshthecartoonguy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tracy H. said...

Sarah Palin isn't a disgrace to women. McCain is a disgrace for thinking that simply because she's a woman, women will vote for her.

Josh, I don't know where to start.

Jym said...

=v= I dropped by a friend's house last evening. She had the TV
on, and there was an ad for a stool-softener. Who, I wondered,
was the target audience for this product? Turns out she was
watching the Republican National Convention.

Fred Thompson was on, telling the Green Bay Steelers story.
I guess when you're piling it on so heavily, you need things to go as smoothly as possible?

Penny said...

I have a friend with a Downs Syndrome child. Her son is very lightly affected with Downs, and yet she spent the first six months of his life going through very extensive training with him. It set him up to be a successful kid and young man because she was so well-trained to help him live well.

She took a leave of absence from work to do this, and she didn't even have a pregnant teenager relying on her. Astounding!

That's my biggest bitch with Palin: she had these kids and isn't doing right by them. I should clarify: it's my biggest bitch at the head of an incredibly long list of bitches. Palin is just another corrupt, do-as-I-say not-as-I-do member of the GOP.

On the other hand, as a poster on www.dailykos.com pointed out, 80% of her kids are not pregnant out of wedlock, so that clearly means that we immediately need a 20% increase on abstinence-only teaching! ;-)

derekamalo said...

hey josh the cartoon guy thank you for your input...


but racism is actually what you are doing when buying ito the last few myths on your blog


everytghing you said about obama was not true

from him not acknowledging the flag to the myth hes muslim....by taking all this information in it helps people beliebe they are not voting for him cause of these myths and not cause hes black..

derekamalo said...

thats my scramble letter

Edstock said...

Check out http://www.crosscut.com/politics-government/17341/

About Sarah Palin: an e-mail from Wasilla

A suburban Anchorage homemaker and activist — who once did battle with the Alaska governor when Palin was mayor — recounts what she knows of Palin's history.

By Anne Kilkenny

Editor's note: The writer is a homemaker and education advocate in Wasilla, Alaska. Late last week, Anne Kilkenny penned an e-mail for her friends about vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, whom she personally knows, that has since circulated across comment forums and blogs nationwide. Here is her e-mail in its entirety, posted with her permission.

Joshthecartoonguy said...

"from him not acknowledging the flag to the myth hes muslim....by taking all this information in it helps people beliebe they are not voting for him cause of these myths and not cause hes black.."

When did I say this? None of this is on my blog! I don't believe he is a Muslim! I don't care if he wears a flag pin or not! Please, don't put words in my mouth. Especially since you can't string two words together into a coherent thought. Were you a conservative, Dan Pirraro would be mocking your grammar.

Shortcake said...

moth balls.

isee3dtoo said...

Shortcake, you have seen moth balls?

How do you get the moth's legs apart? (old joke)

derekamalo said...

piraro can mock my grammar all he wants if he chooses to its his blog.... josh mock this

sojh ckus ym ikcd

samantha said...

Derek, how old are you?