Saturday, July 12, 2008

Loaded Labeling

Today's Bizarro cartoon is brought to you by Natural Selection. "Being overridden by an arrogant species for over a thousand years."

This is another offering from my pal, Phil, and it appealed to me both because I like the word play, and idiotic legal warnings on signs and labels are a pet peeve of mine.

If a label has to tell you not to use an electric hair dryer in the bathtub, chances are nature didn't equip you with the skills to avoid accidental electrocution. Could be a sign you were not meant to pass those genes on. As cruel as it sounds, I feel the same way about the dangers of combining infants and plastic bags. I've not tested this theory on the infants in my own care, but I find it hard to imagine a child strong enough to get hold of a plastic bag not being strong enough to pull it from his/her mouth.

Seems if one person dies from product misuse, no matter how foolish, it must forever be labeled. Eventually lawn chairs will have labels that say, "Do not consume a case of Bud before attempting to clean a loaded gun while sitting in this chair."

9 comments:

doug nicodemus said...

you have been doing a lot of punny jokes lately. the sj-r just ran the insane one. keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

May personal favorite warning can be found on a curling iron: For External Use Only

Dave Rouleau said...

You can find it all here...

http://www.rinkworks.com/said/warnings.shtml


Please keep up the excellent work!!!

edjusted said...

So wait...does that mean it's ok to drink Coors or Miller when I'm cleaning my gun on my lawn chair?

"3 Thighs" Piraro said...

edjusted: not being one to stand in the way of natural selection, you can drink whatever you want while you clean your guns. :)

Shortcake said...

remove packaging before consumption.

michael said...

Actually, it's these idiots suing everybody every time they injure themselves. I listened to this long show on NPR once talking about some of the most ridiculous labels and then reading the lawsuits that lead to the company putting them on there.

leroyinca said...

On the back of personal water craft (i.e. jet skis) there is a warning a very valid warning.

I don't remember the exact words but it went something like "riders should wear neoprene swim wear - serious anal or virginal injury can occur". That warning alone should make people seriously think about riding a water craft.

Doing research on this injury for a legal case, we found over 100 medical articles where riders were tossed from the back end of a jet ski while wearing a cloth swim suit. While they were in the air, just after being tossed from the jet ski, the rear of the water craft will bounce-up and the jets will be pointed at the lower region of the soon to be victim. The result is that due to the force of the water jet the cloth swim suit will disappear (be ripped from the person and inserted) into one of the two orifices presented to the jets. In some cases the suit will remain intact except a hole located appropriately above the orifice. If over 100 medical journal articles are written about this topic I would heed that warning.

daisy said...

my favourite warning is on a bag of peanuts i purchased at a baseball game. in big bold letters, it says "WARNING: CONTAINS PEANUTS"
phew! thank goodness that was pointed out to me!