Don't come by my house this weekend looking for me, I'll be in San Diego at the world's biggest comics convention. If you've never been, you should go. And no need to take recreational drugs ahead of time, the tens of thousands of attendees are beyond the strangest mushroom trip anyone's ever experienced.
If you're going, come by the NCS (National Cartoonists Society) booth and say hello. I'll be selling and signing books, trading cards, prints, and some of my old T-shirts, the ones that are too stained to wear or don't fit me anymore since I've been taking steroids. Since I'm not a spoiled professional athlete with way more money than couth, autographs and pictures with me are completely free. I will be charging for sketches, however, but they're well worth it since I draw not with ink, but with my own blood from a self-inflicted bullet wound in my leg. You don't get that kind of dedication from your average cartoonist.
Don't come to my house this weekend looking to rob it, either. CHNW will be there and she's currently fostering two rescued pit bulls. They love her and they won't like you.