Thursday, July 24, 2008

Free Valium

This Bizarro is brought to you by the struggling executives of America's oil companies. "We don't want your pity, just your firstborn, an arm, a leg, your soul, and another Republican in the White House."

Since I live in NYC, the only city in America where you can not own a car and still get anywhere, anytime, any day of the year, the price of gas isn't on my mind all that much.

I drive a Vespa scooter, which used to cost me about $4 to fill up, now nearly $8. If I drive it a lot every day, which I rarely do unless I'm smuggling illegals in from Canada, I fill up once a week. More typically, I fill up once a month.

I do feel the crunch when I fly, however, airline prices are out of sight, and the cost of cabs and car services in NYC keep going up.

What is the best thing we can do to alleviate the gas crisis? Elect a president who isn't butt buddies with the Saudis. (The ones who blew up the towers. Remember?)

Am I a genius, or could a box turtle to figure this out?


beforewisdom said...

I recently returned from one of my first trips to NYC as a adult a few weeks ago.

I fell in love with subway system there.

The subway platforms are hot and look like BDSM clubs, but riding the trains was so practical I was almost shocked.

It felt so liberating not to be attached to a car and to mix with people on a human scale.

I got a lot of good exercise for free walking and going up stairs in the process of using the subway.

I saw fat people in NYC, but I did not see any super obese people like you do at suburban big box stores. I think such people either would not be able to cut it in NYC using the subway system or the subway system would burn it off.

I know it would take a war chest and cultural inversion, but if every municipality could have a similar subway system the obesity problem and the gas problem could be solved.

Jeremy said...

I ride the bus to work since my job provides me with a free bus pass. I had a job last summer as an IT guy who supported multiple remote sites, sometimes having to drive 50 miles or more to a site. I am so glad that I don't have that job this year. I would not have been able to afford it!

Praise HaShem!

Beforewisdom, I hear you! The thing is, most of these enormously obese people live in the country and they have a big azz SUV and almost never walk or ride a bike.

melissa said...

I also ride a scooter, although a big one, so I don't get crushed on the highways I have to ride on. It's 250ccs and gets 65 mpg.

I'm looking forward to visiting NYC next month for the first time (as an adult) and riding the subway everywhere.

Penny said...

You ARE a genius, but a box turtle could still figure this out.

And the Metro in Paris is just another reason I love it there so very, very much. Paris is HUGE, yet one can get anywhere one wants to go in 20 or 30 minutes, max. Usually less. It's fabulous.

Laura said...

That's going to be me today. It's pouring rain here and for some reason I like to go for a drive (road trip) on rainy days. Great kind of days for taking photos as I love abandoned farm houses.

Shortcake said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shortcake said...

i wrote a letter to the auto manufacturers on my 'confessions' blog.. you should read it. just click on my face.

man.. i wish i at least lived close enough to work to ride a bike or motor-equipped scooter... you lucky city-dweller you.

Father Joe said...

And speaking of Vespas, click here for this great comic from the New Yorker that I've been dying to share with the Bizarro community:


B.A.D. said...

my money is on the box turtle, sorry dan.

Valium Prescription Medication said...

My name is Paul Harris and i would like to show you my personal experience with Valium.

I am 55 years old. Have been on Valium for 20 days now. I decided to get off of all benzos after much reading and having a friend who was abusing Xanax kill himself (may have been other issues, too). I was taking about 4 mg of Klonopin daily. I read a lot of the reseach on benzos by Dr. Heather Ashton, one of the world's leading authorities on benzos. I was shocked to see her equivalency table for Klonopin and Xanax. 1 mg of Klonopin or Xanax is equel to 20 mg of Valium. That's right, 20!! Plus, Klonopin and Xanax have nasty side effects. That did it for me. No more benzos!! Because Valium has the longest half-life of any benzo and the least side effects, I'm using it and water-titration to get off Klonopin, a method widly used in Europe. 10% reduction every 10-14 days. So far so good.

I have experienced some of these side effects -
Headache, drowsiness in the morning. Hard time getting my Dr. to prescribe and go along with treatment program. Valium supposedly is far less addicting than some other benzos, with far fewer side effects. I hope that turns-out to be true.

I hope this information will be useful to others,
Paul Harris