Sunday, May 18, 2008

Satan's Toolshed

(Click on image to enlarge)

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by the National Association of Independent Contractors, aka "Slackers With Tools."

I don't often praise my own cartoons but when this one came to me I couldn't scribble it down fast enough.

CHNW and I bought a place in Brooklyn four years ago and immediately started saving our money for a new kitchen. Last year we got estimates, had enough money, and decided to go with a contractor who came highly recommended by a friend. He said it would take "x" amount of money and 8 to 10 weeks. That was 9 months ago, and although he just finished the job, he has yet to come remove the rest of his tools. So far we've paid him "3x" and he thinks we owe him more. The Taj Mahal took less time and money than this kitchen.

On top of all this, the giant slab of stone-like crap the counter tops are made of is completely the wrong color, and there is a court battle between he and the counter top guy over whose fault it is.

I'm certain there are responsible contractors out there, but from the stories we've heard from friends, and our own experiences with the Kitchen Mahal, I think many are guys who don't want bosses, don't like responsibility, like to keep their own schedule (i.e. work half a day, smoke pot for three days, go to the beach, work half a day, disappear into the mountains for a week, etc.) who have a bunch of extra tools and large, brass balls.

If this project doesn't end in a murder/suicide, it will be a miracle.










This was the title panel from the cartoon. According to millions of American fundamentalists, this is a historically accurate portrayal of the origin of species. This image may well be used in the "science" classes of home-schooled kids all across the nation.

This is the 21st century, right?

10 comments:

convertibles rule! said...

there's a difference between ridicule one one hand; and humorous chiding in fun while respecting the other person's right to their own viewpoint. i've had much more success getting people to respect my beliefs when i stick to the latter method regarding their beliefs. we can tease without calling others stupid. :)

Dave said...

Personally, I really enjoy the use of the verb 'returnethed'. Well done.

Mr Jack said...

I realized that such theological/creation jokes are censored from my local paper in Singapore.

So glad that you have a blog, else I won't know what I'm missing.

marin_explorer said...

Personally, I enjoy a comic that risks offense, because taboos are the most deserving subject. It would be a dull world if every comic was deemed safe from annoying anyone.

Besides, ever since the religious right sought to impose their dogma on society, they became fair game in public discourse, including satire.

Shortcake said...

not advocating cruelty to animals (of course not on your blog), but what got me was the image of a bunch of animals strewn about the land in various, broken pieces. HIGHlarious. and that sucks about your kitchen.. good thing you have good, honest friends, yes?

Atypical Accountant said...

sori to hear about your overcosted kitchen. incidentally, the word spelt as "MAHAL" also means "EXPENSIVE" in the Malay language! so u have just made a layered pun with "Kitchen Mahal". =)

btw, contractors in my country like to pour a pile of sand in front of ur drive-way when they start work ... they den dissappear for a good 3 weeks before starting to mix it with cement ... after which they dissappear again ...

John Platt said...

One of your funniest cartoons ever -- even if it was inspired by terrible, personal trauma. I feel your pain!

Jezzka said...

did the cats survive in all that construction? when i went to the "great wall" i was told the story of how the peasants constructing the wall would fall over from exhaustion and since there was a hurry to keep the mongols out, people were built right into the wall. talk about negligent contractors...

argv said...

Consultants: if you're not part of the solution, there's plenty of money to be made in prolonging the problem.

Safa Tharib said...

some crazy stuff