Sunday, June 14, 2009

Tiki Tock, Tiki Tock

(Click dat Tiki, mon, n mek it large.)

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by INSANE Fun!!!

A while back my friend and very talented colleague, Wayno of Pittsburgh (current home of the Stanley Cup!), offered me a few gags, which I snapped up like a UFO at a hillbilly convention. This tiki one, I believe, is my favorite. I love both the imagery of a bar full of tiki heads and the double entendre.

When I was in my twenties, a good friend of mine and I went to Mexico City. After dinner one evening, we saw a kitschy-looking bar with photos of burlesque dancers out front and decided to pop in for the show. We were early and got a table close to the front. As we drank our beers and waited for the show to start, other patrons filled the club. Something about one of them didn't seem quite right, so I looked around at the others in the room and realized that every person dressed like a woman was a man in drag. I whispered to my friend, "Dude, this is a transvestite bar." We had a quiet laugh, finished our beers and left. Being horny young heteros in our twenties, neither of us really wanted to stay for the show.

Recently, my friend Cliff and I were looking for a quiet pub in which to discuss our book project and came across a suitable candidate. We sidled up to the bar and ordered a couple of beers. After talking for a few minutes, we both noticed at about the same time that we were in a lesbian bar. We laughed it off and stayed for another beer. Most of the local gals were fine with us being there, but one gave us a little trouble and threatened to rough us up. When I began crying and Cliff fainted, she backed down. I think she just wanted to prove that she was more of a man than either of us. She could have just asked.

The Wonderful Wayno is having an art show in soon. You should go look at it with your eyes, put your hand in his and shake gently. As an added bonus, if you tell him you found out about the show on this blog, he'll give you a buttocks massage you'll never forget!


doug nicodemus said...

I had to explain this one to cathy but i got it...pretty funny

Penny Mitchell said...

The guy on the far left in the first link is still in therapy to deal with the intense self-loathing he developed from posing in that stance.

And my late mother was the same height as Bea Arthur and had the same exact voice. I consequently as tall as Bea Arthur and have the same exact voice. Don't make me come over there and pound you.


blight said...

Buttocks massage? No thanks. lol

Chriss Pagani said...

Wayno had mentioned this was coming up so I was looking for it. This is a great gag and your art is double plus good. :) (to use newspeak). I've always been a big fan of your art and this one should be in a museum.

Otto said...

Dan, too funny. you gotta check out Tiki Oasis. If you are in the San Diego area in Aug 13-17 I will add you to the VIP list. Cheers, Otto

Otto said...

Dan, love this stuff, check out Tiki and let me know if you want to attend on the house