Monday, November 10, 2008

Are You Saved?

Bizarro is brought to you today by People Who Want To Save You.

Who doesn't want to be saved? Life is hard. Bad things happen to us, we get ourselves into jams we wish we hadn't and can't see the way out. Wouldn't it be great if someone or something could come along and snatch you up out of the poo pit you've fallen into and make everything all better? (Answer on page 372)

For those of you without a page 372 on your computer, the answer is, "yes." That's why humans have always been in love with saviors. What's not to love?

The downside is that some people will try to save you against your will, with the savior of their choice. This can be anything from uncomfortable to annoying to dangerous.

I wish being saved were simpler. I wish my life, like my computer, would kick into a screensaver mode after I've left it unattended for five minutes. Just put everything on hold and make sure nothing gets changed or damaged while I'm not looking.

I don't, however, want to have to replace my life with a new one every four years so it will work with new applications. There are too many humans as it is.


doug nicodemus said...

i like the eye as the logo on the computer.

ldisme said...

someone save me — from laughing to death

Larry Levine said...

Dan, Great gag.

I lost a ton of unsaved artwork when my old computer died last August. I don't know which was worse--having to redo all the lost art or being without BizarroBlog for a whole week!!!

Anonymous said...

ldisme - "laughing," really? Smiling slightly, maybe...

Jezzka said...

god holy, sweet moses lumpy gravy, son of a mother theresa, i have been hunted, stalked, and harassed so many times by people trying to save me with a pamphlet. i just want to scream, i am the devil, i am the devil, and throw some canned peaches at their heads. is that so wrong?

this one occasion, i was in a grocery store and this heavy set latina woman cornered me in the potato chip isle and proceeded to tell me that "he is coming for us", i said who? she says, "our saviour" i say, john stamos?

oblivious to humor, she presses on saying, "he will come for us, the apocalypse is coming and i will have him save you too!" i politely reply, oh that's ok, no thanks. i'm good.

the woman did not give up. she follows me through the small store, interjecting about how, there will only be a chosen few the saviour will be able to save when the day comes. i look at her basket of brochures and she says, "oh yes, please take one" i take one, curious to see which religion wanted to recruit me this time...jesus christ of ladder day saints. mormons? really? the sex addicts? i remember the commercials in the eighties, they had catchy tunes and flooded the after saturday morning cartoon commercial slots...

i returned the faded brochure, and resumed looking for crinkle cut chips, that would go well with my corn salsa. the woman followed me as i shopped, by the time i was at checkout she gave one last push to save me waving the pamphlet in my face warning me of the doomsday.

i had this urge to tell her i am the chosen one and i will not be saving her, that she is too pushy and there is no room in heaven for such domineering people. i resisted and walked out of the store and resumed my place in the hell hole of life. ha! end of story!

Michael Minneboo said...

I don't wanna get saved by some religious group, I'd rather have fun thank you very much. Love the cartoon, though.

SAYOTTE316 said...


anonymous on one of Dan's friends post, calling Piraro " pure genius"

Unknown said...

Wow, guys! I guess I live a sheltered life in a rural area. Since everyone knows everyone, there isn't any ambush evangelism in the grocery stores.

When it comes to knowing the Unknown, I think everyone has thought through these issues and come to a conclusion they can live with. Although, it is refreshing to have discussions with friends with whom I can disagree with, yet share points of view with one another -- things maybe we hadn't thought of.

My own belief system has evolved over the years.

I personally believe in God and Jesus, and wish to apologize on his behalf for the obnoxious things done for him by some of these nut-jobs.

Anonymous said...

Piraro is a genius. If you're into wildly unfunny puns.