Tuesday, June 10, 2008

My Ugly Ego

Yesterday, I posted a cartoon about cosmetic surgery (Mind-Boggling Beauty), which drew a comment from a reader that I must address. The reader known here as "ging," sent a link to the above children's book.

At first glance, it seems innocent enough. Most kids think their mother is beautiful, I suppose. Even if they don't, a little white lie is a minor price to pay to someone who holds your very survival in her hands.

But the description below the book tells a different story:
"Dr. Michael Salzhauer, a renowned plastic surgeon, wrote My Beautiful Mommy to help patients explain their transformation to their children. The story guides children through Mommy's surgery and healing process in a friendly, nonthreatening way. "

If you're not completely creeped out right now, you may want to check your vital signs. The lousy, psuedo-Disney art makes your skin crawl all the more. Another reader, "Julie," suggested a cartoon for Bizarro based on this topic, which I'm definitely going to use. (If you read the small print on the back of your computer, you will see that any and all ideas for cartoons submitted in the comments section of this blog become the sole property of the writer of this blog, in perpetuity.)

Some alternative titles for the book:
The Stranger With The Familiar Voice
What Did You Do With My Mommy, You Taut-Eyed Freak?!
My Mommy Is Stacked
Daddy's Weird New Wife
Why Does Mommy Always Look Surprised?

Check out the real book here.


Allan Cavanagh said...

That's exactly what I thought you were referring to in that cartoon. Sociological Images covered it a while ago. Horrific concept.

Anonymous said...

Here's a suggested title... "Don't Kiss Me, Mommy. Your Lips are Huge!"

Daniel Joseph Sardella said...

Alternate title:
"Mommy, why do men call you a MILF now?"

Craig Zablo said...

How about: "Mommy, Why Does Your Mouth Pop Open When You Sit Down?"

marine_explorer said...

How ironic the cover illustration actually incorporates that stretch-eyed look. Was that was intentional, or a subversive inclusion by the artist? I'm hoping the latter.

"If you're not completely creeped out right now..."

I am creeped every day...because my town is overpopulated with middle-aged moms competing with their teenage daughters. Next time you play in Mill Valley, CA take a good look at the audience.

HollyBerry said...

i think neatorama posted about this a while ago, and i was equally as horrified. i totally agree with you about plastic surgery and when it is warranted.. what i find most appalling about this book is that it continues to make it 'OK' for future generations to believe superficial "flaws" can just be "fixed" with a simple cut of the knife. yea, i really want my children to believe they're not beautiful unless a doctor manipluates their face.

on a completely unrelated note, here is a great site (posted on neatorama) that compiles pictures of today's worldly catastrophies, called the Big Picture blog. knowing you're an activist in a couple ways, i think you will really enjoy (or possibly cringe at) these images.

Lisa Williamson said...

It's actually TAUT-eyed freaks (speaking of picayune commenters)...

I love "Mommy, why do you always look surprised?"

To marin explorer: tell me about it. The epidemic spread as far north as Sonoma, last time I checked. Yeesh.

Piraro said...

"Lisa Williamson" was not the only person to point out my spelling error. I got several personal emails on it, too. I've fixed it now, leaving this comment so that future blog readers won't think Lisa is a kook.
Which she may be, but not for this reason.
Thanks for the editing, as always! Keeps me from looking like a boob.

Fabian Göranson said...

i've seen this too and... well it's hard to find words... another alternate title: "mommy isn't happy with herself. oh, someone said you look just like your mommy? i'm sorry, you'll have to wait until you're 18"

Fabian Göranson said...

oh, that was yesterdays joke. good one!

Etiquette Bitch said...

thanks for addressing this book. all i could think when it came out was, "disgusting." unfortunately, i'm sure there's plenty of shallow morons out there who ran out and bought this crap sandwich...

Unknown said...

These are the related items for the book:

"The Bee in Bonnie Bondelle's Bow" by Charlotte Sauers. A young girl copes with an unwelcome new friend.
Your Price $16.95

"Play Pretty" by Patricia Tomberlin-Hightower. Three young girls learn how to play nicely together.
Your Price $15.95

"Play Pals" by Patricia Tomberlin-Hightower. Three small boys learn how to play nicely together.
Your Price $15.95

"Learn Along With Lily" by Donna McNaughton. Children ages 2-5 are invited to accompany Lily on her adventures in a world much like their own - filled with family, friends, and imagination.
Your Price $19.95

Now, seriously, don't all three of those books sound like paedophilia manuals?