Friday, June 20, 2008


This Bizarro cartoon is brought to you by Unlimited Choices Consortium.

I'm not a fan of using a lot of emoticons when I email, but I do use the original happy face fairly frequently. Email does not imply tone of voice, so the two-stroke smile – I don't bother with the nose dot. : ) – is not only a simple, helpful communication tool, it is often necessary to let your reader know you were kidding. My humor has caused misunderstandings in emails before and I've offended people without even knowing it. If the pissed off party doesn't immediately write back and tell you so, you've got a loose cannon wandering around town drawing a target on your chest, as you skip and whistle down the street without a care in the world.

Of course, if you're skipping and whistling down the street on a regular basis and you're older than 11, unclear emails are probably not your biggest problem.

I am not, however, a fan of the electronic, digital, Pixar-style emoticons that move and wink and stick out their tongues and wear funny clothes. Those things make me feel as though the page is crawling with radioactive insects that have escaped from some evil laboratory at Disney. (FYI: all labs at Disney are evil.) Others are welcome to embrace these gremlins, but I avoid badly-designed things in my own life and don't want people sneaking them into my field of vision without even asking.

It occurs to me that last paragraph sounded like Andy Rooney. Shoot me now. Perhaps that's why almost all of my posts fall into the "cranky comments" subhead.

By the way, anyone know what emoticon you use when you feel like this?


Jeremy said...

The emoticon would look something like this:


My (RAZR) cell phone also has animated emoticons I can add into text messages. They are some Anime-style drawing of a kid and his koala bear doing different faces.

doug nicodemus said...

if you want emotion pick up the phone and actually talk to someone.

B.A.D. said...

X| seems accurate.

Anonymous said...

Not sure what emoticon it would be, but he looks like he needs some Ex-Lax...

dmbaer said...

>I'm not a fan of using a lot of emoticons when I email

Yeah, I hate them too. They're stupid and childish.

They make me want to :-0<<<#####

Craig Mackay said...

I was trying to come up with an emoticon for the picture but all I came up with was an angry guy with a moustache.

# B^{ 3

disabled account said...

i wouldn't use an emoticon for that last one. i'd just say. "WTF?!"

HollyBerry said...

i know exactly what you mean about pissing people off unintentionally in emails (and even sometimes in normal conversations).. that hits WAAY close to home. i've had to apologize too many times for things i said to people who didn't understand my humor. actually, an ex-bf used to get mad at me all the time because i would say things with the intention of being sarcastic but were apparently interpreted to be incredibly offensive and mean. i learned to watch what i say before i open my fat mouth.

and emoticons are stupid.. anything beyond smiley, frowny, and crazy are just unnecessary. i second b.a.d's emoticon suggestion, though.

Jezzka said...

an emo-con for constipated diver...hmm that IS a toughie.

Anonymous said...

i like craig mackay's angry man with a moustache.
ginger doesnt see it though.
lol is, for me, worse than any emoticon; rather than clear up any irony, it only exaggerates the implicit extremes: eg., "hey ginger, your a dumb bitch, lol." lol ;). see:
i used lol and i through in a sly little emoticon wink and yet i bet ginger (who is long gone i suppose) wouldnt really be sure that i absolutely do not think she is a dumb bitch. see. a.p.t.

disabled account said...

hey anonymous ~ i get email alerts so i hear you loud and clear.

so....WTF dumb ass?!?!

see, WTF is very effective. :) or should i say lol?

Anonymous said...