Friday, March 6, 2009

Master Disguise Kit

Bizarro is brought to you today by impractically large beaches.

I haven't been thrilled with all my cartoons from this particular week, but I really like this one. It isn't for everyone and won't end up on a best-selling T-shirt (come to think of it, none of my cartoons have ever been best-selling T-shirts) but it has that certain combo of dry surreal humor and social commentary that I find amusing.

If you don't live in a celebrity soaked environment like NY or LA, you may not know that virtually ALL celebrities who do not want to be noticed in public wear sunglasses and a ball cap. I'm not criticizing, just observing. For all I know there is a Screen Actors Guild bylaw about this that I am unaware of.

I suppose it makes sense in the context of our current fashion mores. If you want to cover the part of your body that most people will recognize, which for celebrities other than J-Lo is the face, you'll need either a brimmed hat or a veil. Veils attract a lot of attention, the opposite of what you're trying to do, and brimmed hats other than ball caps are not common enough in our society to go unnoticed.

Sunglasses hide the eyes, so that's an obvious choice.

I do wonder why more celebs don't opt for a false mustache, however. That can really change your look and, if it is obviously a fake, makes other people uncomfortable and less likely to stare. Wax lips do the same thing. People would either think, that person is wearing wax lips, eek, look away, or that poor person has shiny, plastic-looking deformed lips, I shouldn't stare. This option would work for just about any celebrity other than Angelina Jolie.

Nose glasses are a classic disguise but people now associate those with humor so you'd likely get one of those overly-friendly goobers on a chartered casino trip start kidding around with you. Then your cover is blown and you have to listen to their yammering about how much they enjoyed Tony Orlando in Branson last month. I get this from time to time from people who just think I'm wearing nose glasses. Welcome to my hell.

21 comments:

Jeremy said...

I LOVED this cartoon. I don't live in LA or NY but I see magazine covers all the time at stores and you are right, celebrities wear that getup a lot. I am personally fascinated with how celebrities do in public settings. Some are at ease with their celebrity and like the admiration. Others hate it and avoid fans as much as possible.

Dan, you seem like someone who seems to be comfortable in your popularity from what I can tell. But do you ever meet people like me that are obsessive fans and remember cartoons you drew 20 years ago and ask you about them? Does that annoy you?

I see William Shatner and Leonard Nemoy as good case studies for both these sides. Shatner doesn't appear to like nerds and geeks that watch Star Trek, as evidenced by his famous 'Get a life' outburst. Nemoy on the other hand is very at ease with his celebrity and loves Star Trek conventions.

Waldo said...

What I love is the lads/lasses, who are not famous, who try to dress as though they are famous (hat, glasses, distressed clothes, etc.) in order to get attention.

"Notice me trying to not get noticed"

LA is a sad plastic world.

Anonymous said...

Former blogger Iseedto killed in Utah car accident.

We're going to miss you bud :(

Anonymous said...

Are you serious? He died in a car wreck?

Yet Another Steve said...

I made the mistake of wearing that getup (ball cap, sunglasses) 25 years ago to Filmex in LA, after getting thoroughly baked for some movie, and then getting paranoid about walking in. Even back then it turned out to be exactly the wrong outfit to wear to an LA film festival if one doesn't want to be noticed -- who knew? Heaven knows where all those photos ended up.

waldo 7 said...
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waldo 8 said...
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Waldo said...

Wow I have made it big.... People are coping my name!!!

Luna said...
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Luna said...

Angelina Jolie = Pretty Angel in French (Jolie = Pretty, not angel, like I accidentally said in my last comment)

I missed this comic, probably because life has been hectic lately. Oh well - that's why I follow this blog.

Jezzka said...

please, hell? your schanazzaroo is great! you would not be piraro-rah-roe without it, embrace the hell and the hand basket it resides in.

i personally wear a sombero and hula skirt to avoid stairs. yes, stairs.

tommy said...

Nose glasses, brimmed hat and fake mustache, it's obvious that it's not Dan in the last pic.

Black said...

This is a small community, made up of people who enjoy the creator's perspective. It's common ground we stand on. We all come here for a laugh and making fun of one another is a lot of fun. If it is done in the proper spirit.

But if someone within the small blogging commentary tribe is hurt or needs help we need to get serious for a second.

So, if not here, then point me to a place where I can check on my fellow commentators. Unfortunately I’m limited on what I can give anyone here but I can give sincere thoughts and prayers.


There's nothing wrong with throwing insults at one another. And I like to dish it out, as well as receive it. But it's always done within the spirit of love.

Now, I would like to say something funny and insult some people. But I'm now very worried and concerned.

So please explain. So I can truly give my condolences or have a sigh of relief.

“The professor gathers his notes, and prepares to leave the classroom”

KtM said...

For those Hollywood types, who try their best to avoid paparazzi, wouldn't it be worthwhile hiring those celebrity wanna-be impersonators and ask them to dress in track pants and a baseball cap, then stroll around places where the "star" won't be?

PIRARO said...

@Jeremy...
I'm only a very minor celebrity to a small minority and relatively few people even know what I look like, so I rarely get recognized by a "fan." I'm easy to spot, too, because I almost always wear a hat that is not a baseball cap.

But I never mind being recognized and I'm always nice. I would HATE, however, to be a prisoner of my own face like big movie stars are. I can't imagine not being able to leave the house without being accosted by strangers and photographers. Godawful.

Howard said...

I haven't been able to look at nose glasses and wax lips since I first read the National Lampoon Sunday Newspaper parody.

Which, unfortunately, I can't find online, and I won't quote the description here because it's hella offensive.

See if you can guess in what horrifying way P.J. O'Roarke described nose glasses and wax lips!

SAYOTTE316 said...

My pepere use to go out in public but the press was only interested in that ass.

jimbojones said...

Please, Jeremy. Piraro is not a celebrity outside this blog.

samantha said...

Who the hell is Waldo? New guy?

KtM said...

Yeah, and where the hell is Waldo?

Becci said...

Oh my goodness, this is one of my favourite Bizarros! Of course, I love anything you do that's pigeon-related, but this one is so adorable that I can barely stand it! You are great!