Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Be a Doll

Bizarro is brought to you today by Ventriloquism.

We finally have what passes for warm weather in New York City at this time of year and it has buoyed my spirits considerably. It's been in the low fifties for the past couple of days and it feels like Mexico. I rode my bike around Prospect Park yesterday dressed in something lighter than an Eskimo suit. It was glorious. Today I may go riding again, perhaps to the local dollar store to see if they have rubber sheets*, or across the Brooklyn Bridge to see how many tourists are mindlessly walking in the bike lane. Every year they repaint the signs and walkway markers and still somebody gets creamed.

For anyone who is not familiar enough with the mystical techniques of ventriloquism to understand this joke, just try to say a "B" without moving your lips. Ah, now you've discovered the magic of ventriloquism. Somehow, doll-wielding entertainment icons like Beverly Massegee can make the sound of a "B" inside their mouth and not with their lips! If you try it, it will sound like a "G." That's why all over the globe people flock to pay big bucks to see this rare art form.

*For use in making it easier to clean up after some of our foster animals.

9 comments:

Dave Stratton said...

What ventriloquists have dummies that are miniature versions of themselves? I don't recall ever seeing that, but I guess it would be useful for someone who can't do a funny voice -- he can just use his regular voice. But the bits would be strange...would he be talking to himself? Having a psychotic break? I'm trying to imagine his act. Could be interesting.

shane said...

I got a dook on wentriloquism as a kid and hracticed the art of skeaking without mozing your lits. I don't know how grofessionals do it. I never could sound very conwincing, mostly just sound like a guy talking with a mouth full of geer - which is why I loved this congic strick.

Alison said...

This one made me laugh and laugh when I saw in in the paper last week.

ojeano said...

This cartoon is terithic!!!!

Dag said...

Hi Dan, I hope you don't mind, that I blogged about one of your cartoons, that was published in our local newspaper!
http://sheeponaspring.blogspot.com/2010/03/hello-world.html
Take care, I really like your work!

Prospero said...

Now you've gone and put images of Anthony Hopkins and that evil witch from "Dead Silence" in my head...

patrick said...

Great comic -- I laughed out loud! I grew up watching the Paul Winchell show after school, with his dummy Jerry Mahoney and his phrase scotty waddy doo dah. I'll take a good ventriloquist over a marionette any day.

spyra said...

Hi Dan. Totally unrelated to your post, but I thought you'd enjoy these:

http://failblog.org/2009/10/20/fashion-fail-3/
http://failblog.org/2010/03/10/pants-fail-2/

Shawn said...

That was freakin' hysterical!!!!!