Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Of Puke and Professors

Bizarro is brought to you today by Unnatural Acts.

I haven't much to say about this cartoon except that I think it's fun. Horses are great. I've never once opened up a GQ, so I know nothing about the magazine other than what its covers look like on a newsstand. Perhaps some of you already knew that by the way I dress and think I should open one more often.

More importantly, my old humanities professor is coming to visit in about an hour and we've been cleaning the house feverishly for the past 24 hours. It's almost done, but not quite. I like having house guests because it is the only thing that makes us clean up, but I hate it because it's hard work and I know that it will be a complete wreck again not 12 hours after he walks out the door.

My professor is a terribly cool old gentlemen, and visits NYC from time to time to see theater. We might go to see "Hair" with him. What a "hoot," as the homosexuals say. (To be fair, many heterosexuals and bisexuals say it, too, although I believe the term was made popular in the gay community.)

Must conclude now, I have to run around the house with a rag and some floor cleaner and buff out the cat puke stains.

12 comments:

b0b said...

Why the long face?

sheer.nothingness said...

"... I have to run around the house with a rag and some floor cleaner and buff out the cat puke stains."
Wow, that's exactly what I do when I have house guests. Glad to know my cats aren't unusual in their inability to hold their liquor, er, science diet.

fulano said...

Must've been those hmsxls from OK who used hoot!

Yet Another Steve said...

It's good to have company because, as you say, that's the only time we really open our eyes and LOOK at the way we've been living, ugh, what will they think! But the downside is, after it's all nice and clean and the company has come and gone, there are things we've "put away" that we won't find again for months.

Anonymous said...

Marriage. It's more a harness than a bridal

Nowax said...

I know a few spinster Christian ladies from the midwest who say "what a hoot". But then, on closer inspection, a lot of those spinster ladies from the midwest could BE gay men...

Yes, I, too, clean up those dreaded puke stains. Especially the "spit up" ones that they do when no ones around that you can't see until a light is shined directly on them. If someone could invent a cat "no-puke" remedy, they'd be rich.

Karl said...

Will the professor be handing out a pop quiz after the show? Just a word of caution; better pay attention.

killerboots said...

I thought "hoot" was invented by little grannies who didn't want to say "holy crap, that was awesome!"

Penny said...

To quote Howard Stern, "So, Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar..."

Prospero said...

From the image you linked to the qord, I think you're confusing "heterosexual" with "ignorant, bigoted a**hole."

RSJ said...

We used to clean up before our friends visited, exhausting ourselves to satisfy their inordinate obsession with military order, crumbless countertops, shining porcelain, and matching furniture.

After awhile, my girlfriend and I decided it would be simpler just to find new friends. ;)

As far as family members, we've slyly coerced them into moving to other states hundreds of miles away, so they aren't a problem.

Iara said...

Ok, can someone explain to me why on earth is that horse wearing shoes???