Thursday, April 9, 2009

Superman Science

Bizarro is brought to you today by Baby Man.

I always liked Superman's ability to turn back time by zipping around the earth real fast and reversing its rotation. It doesn't have the least bit of science behind it, but it's a cool trick.

The problem is, once that possibility has been introduced, it begs the question why he just doesn't do it all time and stop tragedies from happening in the first place? School bus heading over a cliff? Why catch it and put all those kids' families through unnecessary anxiety and lawsuits? Just turn time back a couple hours and report that drunken driver to the principal before the bus leaves campus.

And crime wouldn't be the only time this skill was useful. You could use it after your girlfriend breaks up with you or you get fired from your job. Turn the clock back one day, leave town, find a new job and a new girlfriend. Then return to town, break up with your girlfriend because you've found someone new and quit your job. Who's crying now, sucker?

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

What I want to know is, why does he do this once a day every day instead of twice in one day, taking every other day off?

monsterzero said...

WHHAAAT? no hidden icons?! say it ain't so!

Martin said...

People seem to misunderstand that bit all the time. He doesn't actually reverse the Earth's rotation -- it's just that he goes back in time by flying faster than light, and while he's moving backwards in time, the Earth naturally looks like it's revolving in the other direction.

In the movie, his father warns him never to use that power, but apparently, Lois's death is the one thing that pushes him over the edge.

Also, "begging the question" means presenting a circular argument.

Ray Avito said...

It is VERY WRONG that I chuckled at crying Superman, but he got me back by blowing my mind all out of the box with that following the time line bit.

Anonymous said...

xkcd "already did it"! http://xkcd.com/162/

juliet calabrese said...

look up penn of penn and teller saying superman in real life stopped the kkk

Waldo said...

juliet calabrese... I heard a while back that the Feds were having a hard time controlling the KKK in the days of radio, so they approached the Superman staff to include the KKK lingo and passwords in their radio shows to disrupt the KKK's operations. For example: If a Klansman walked into a bar and wanted to know if it was KKK friendly, they would say some password to the barkeep and with the proper reply, they would be able to acknowledge each other. But the radio show would give out the secret passwords or hand symbols where, within days, the kids would be yelling the password on the street while playing Superman v KKK on the playgrounds or streets. Just like upper middle class white kids acting gangster (insert Vanilla Ice link here)... Thus, the klan had to change their ways and society became disenchanted with their club.

Jeremy said...

I wonder the same thing about Doctor Who all the time!! Why doesn't he just go back in time to right before the bad guys eff things up and stop their butts?

Because it would make for a pretty dull show.

heffison said...

Okay, I'm turning 50 in a few years...where can I get this strip on a t-shirt?

Wait, if he's doing this every day, maybe I'm not turning 50 in a few years, after all. Go, Supes!