Saturday, April 18, 2009

Sport Differential

(Click image to enlarge)

Today's Bizarro is sponsored by
Immature Fathers.

I'm a sports fan but I don't follow golf. First, it isn't a sport it's a game, not that that matters, and second, I find it unacceptably dull. Like watching people play chess or Scrabble. Sure, lots of people enjoy golf on TV and that's fine. I suspect most of them probably play it, though, which makes any sport more fun to watch because you have firsthand knowledge of how difficult what the participants are doing really is. Which is why I enjoy watching those films about Jason Bourne.

A recent exception to this rule is that I've come to enjoy watching some basketball on TV, even though I've not played it since I was twelve. It's not that I don't like it, but with the exception of countries like Guatemala and Japan, I'm not what most people would call "tall," so I am at a natural disadvantage in a game about height. In fact, it isn't even the same game. To have firsthand knowledge of the skill level necessary to play basketball as those in the NBA do, I would have to use a ball the size of a grapefruit and play on a court half the size of standard ones with the hoop mounted at the top of the average door frame. Just doesn't seem as hard.

Conversely, if the NBA dudes were playing with a beach ball on a court the size of a hockey rink and the hoop were mounted at the top of the average highway light pole, they'd have some idea of what basketball is for me.

So here is Tiger Woods playing putt putt. His mighty swing is taking out other patrons right and left. Stop, Tiger, stop! It's all about putting! No driving allowed!

Silly, silly, Tiger.

13 comments:

doug nicodemus said...

i am not making this up...some comedian (chevy chase, romano???) hit a bystander and nocked them cold yesterday in a proam...pretty funny pic but your comments are way funnier...have you ever thought about issuing a compendium of them in book form...oh and can you down load your other books electronically???

Dean said...

I don't follow golf, or even play it, with the exception of mini-golf, and I thought this one was hilarious. Though the anthropologist in me really liked the caveman comics, and the paleontologist in me really likes the dinosaurs.

Deisy said...

Another 'Guatemalans are short' entry, bleh, yes, I'm Guatemalan.

Anonymous said...

That scrabble link deserved some warning! My eyes are burning...

Anonymous said...

I guess that's why there's HorseJockey-ing, Gymnastics, Limbodancing,to name a few where 'short' people ARE at an advantage, Mr. Piraro.

Embrace ur 'shorti'ness ;) atleast the doorframes don't hit our heads evers.

ur Fan,
Dee Sh

shipping troll said...

A better Link for "Chess" !! Otherwise I pretty much agree with everything you have written today. I have never really understood the rabid sports fan. It has no bearing on real life so why does it matter what the spoiled, over-payed, knuckleheads do?

BlogD said...

Alas, I do have personal experience with what this comic portrays. When I was a teen, I played miniature golf, and after we finished, we watched others play the '19th hole,' seeing if they could sink it in for the free game. The hole was effectively just a very narrow ramp up to the end of a pipe. I was standing not exactly behind it, but off to one side. I just didn't expect some idiot to actually drive the ball as if he were trying to hit something a hundred yards away. It's the only time I have ever been knocked unconscious.

Penny said...

I really hope that nice red-haired lady has a boatload of sunscreen on. I'm worried about her.

Karl said...

I didn’t see it the first time until reading the comment about dinosaurs. That’s when I went back to see what it looked like, and that’s when I laughed when seeing the mini golfer guy hiding behind the neck of the brontosaurus.

Golf is a fun sport (or game, if you prefer to call it) if you are good at it. If not, it is frustrating and embarrassing. My recommendation for new golfers is to hit a couple of buckets of practice balls before going out for a round of golf. Then try and find a few other players who you know, are much worse than you are. Even if you are bad (personal experience speaking) at the game, you can have lots of enjoyment watching others who are worse. It's not nice laughing at others who are searching the woods for lost balls, but it can be good for your self esteem.

Karl said...

Deisy,

I have a Guatemalan friend who is about the the same height as I am. We're both not very tall. Oddly enough, a few years ago I heard where Italians are one of the shortest peoples in the world. This could explain why I have to stand on my toes to reach the bowls I placed on top of the refrigerator:-)

Anonymous said...

ok, dan, your scrapping the bottom of the barel. your oh so superer.

Yet Another Steve said...

Chess? You missed showing Marcel Duchamp and Eve Babitz going at it!

Yet Another Steve said...

Hmm. Well, Dan, you "superer" thing (more than super?), now that you're "scrapping" the bottom of the barrel, what are you going to do with the rest of it -- wear it, like people did in ancient cartoons to indicate they were penniless?

Oh tsk, and here I go, being snarky just because I can spell. There is no end to human depravity.