Bizarro is brought to you today by Fairy Tales.My weekend post is late, I'm sorry for the three or four of you who wait for these things. For the rest of you who just happen by now and then, ignore everything up to this point.
It is well documented on this blog how I feel about reality TV. I don't just think it is awful, I think it is ruining the world in the way that Baptists thought rock and roll was ruining the world in the 50s and Sarah Palin thinks that intellect and reason are ruining the world today.
But as they say in Brooklyn, whatayagonnado? As long as humans run the world we can expect a never-ending wave a classy quality.
Here's a little cartoon about a couple of mosquitoes. I'd like to apologize to my readers whose lives really do suck and this cartoon was but another painful reminder. You see, to a mosquito, sucking is a good thing. Whether you like or dislike this cartoon, take it up with my bodyguard, Big Rey, who thought it up. I didn't want to print it, but I hate to see a grown man cry. Especially one who has grown to the size of Big Rey and is wearing a shoulder holster. It's heartbreaking.
Now we come to my version of a famous fairy tale. I enjoy the visual and the gag well enough, but what really strikes me is the sexual undertones. If that's the old woman who lived in the shoe with so many children she didn't know what to do, and that's their father and he's 8-stories tall, how did they manage to...? You know.
To make this lurid illustration larger, click Lover Boy's little toe.
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12 comments:
The official count of people who wait for you to post is 4. (Not three!) I Think I am Number 1 or 2. Great stuff!
In yesterday's edition of the Globe & Mail newspaper, (up here in Canukistan)- there is a cartoon with your name on it, of a housefly in a Chinese restaurant, and he is reading the menu and asking for a Number 2 !?! Haw! (I am gonna post this on Wikileaks- just to show your long-suffering fans, that you are holding out on us!)
(Hey- I won't rat you out, if you repost that one of the Pope with the electric chair hanging on a chain from his neck?)
As for the woman who lived in the ..show - it took me a second to realise you meant shoe! Maybe she just went 'swimming' when it came time for...with her husband.
Disgusting i know but ive just finished an almost 5000 word essay on law and a chemistry assignment. the dirty part of my mind is all that i have left.
great work as always!
Ha! I wondered the same thing when I read the shoe comic. Dirty minds think alike, apparently.
i read your blog every day, and i always await a new post. i think i'm number 1 when it comes to people who await you to post. you're actually my home page!
That would make 5 of us waiting for your posts. And this troll should have darker hair. Maybe purple hair. Or blue. (Is that what really old trolls do? Dye their hair blue?)
Just wanted to say I like the use of perspective in the analyst cartoon. Kind of a fly-on-the-ceiling view.
I do find it curious that the patient (analyzee?)has removed her shoes to lie on the couch.
And more curious that I'm commenting on the psychiatrist cartoon and the capcha I need to enter is 'poopp' (I shit you not.)
Dan,
Not sure how to break this to you or whatever explanation goes with it. I heard you mentioned on weei radio Boston this weekend. You got accused of stealing peoples ideas and claiming it was impossible for them to get published and then stopping them from real jobs after you were caught.
Either way you sounded really weak.
I could send you the sound bite.
Tim Jamica Plain, ma
@Tim...yeah, that would be a guy named Derek whose ideas I used for a while a few years ago. I gave him credit and the original art, which is more than I give most people who give me cartoon ideas, but he began hassling my colleagues and cussing them out when they wouldn't use him so I stopped using him, too. Since then, he has been claiming to anyone who will listen that I black balled him or something . No biggy.
Dan
A few years ago.
The dates of the 94 comics posted on weei dashboard are all during your rueben win.
Dec 08-Dec. 31 09
@Tim...not sure what that means. Are you saying Derek posted a bunch of cartoons that he claims to have written during December of '09? That's as may be, it doesn't really have anything to do with the award. Derek doesn't understand how the Reuben works. All of the members of the National Cartoonists Society nominate three cartoonists each year, then the ones with the most nominations get on the ballot. Each member then votes for the one they want to give the award to. It ends up being something of a lifetime achievement award, one that says "you've been doing notable work for a long time and we're ready to reward you for it". It's not a contest wherein they line up cartoons and say "these are the best from this year." Member cartoonists live all over the continent and there is no single way they all make up their minds. Most cartoonists never even get nominated and I was nominated for 8 consecutive years, much longer than Derek was submitting gags. Derek likes to say he is responsible for my Reuben. It's silly but it seems to make him happy. :o)
@Jeremy...I didn't publish your comment because it was hostile and childish. You're clearly a friend of Derek's, that's fine, but don't become his sycophant. Neither of you have any idea how the Reuben Award works, which is fine, few people outside the industry do. Like most awards, it is highly political. Just look at the last ten winners. How many of them were really doing the best work in their field the year they won?
Technically, I was awarded for the year 2009, during which I used exactly 13 of Derek's ideas. 13 out of 365. Do you really think those 13 gags were so amazing that everyone in the National Cartoonists Society noticed them and rushed to engrave my name on a trophy? Don't be an idiot. How long has Derek been a Magical Cartoon Leprechaun?
In 2008 I used many more of Derek's gags but did NOT win. Maybe my cutting him off (for using my name to be a childish, petulant ass to my colleagues) was what won me the Reuben. By your logic, I should have disassociated myself from him much sooner.
You can believe everything Derek tells you if you'd like, but it won't make it true. Take an objective look at everything else in Derek's life. Am I really the only thing standing between him and wild success?
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