Bizarro is brought to you today by Navin's Cake.
I haven't had a birthday in a while, so let's say today is my birthday. Please donate lots of money to me with the PayPal donation button on the right. I'm only a little bit famous and not rich at all, so I could really use it. Go for it. If everyone who reads this blog donates just $5, I'll have over $40 to spend on something nice for myself!
I normally post a contest on Thursdays, but I'm not going to be able to today because I have to pay a relative stranger to put his finger in my butt. Yes, it's time for my yearly checkup. To find out what I'm going to die of and how soon, check this blog tomorrow.
You're dandy and deep down inside, you know it.