Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Did You Myth Me?


Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Friends for Dinner.

I could go off on another of my religious screeds but I shan't. For I findst mineself woefully arrears on mine weekly deadlineth and fear I shall be smited sorely.

Instead, let's say this cartoon reflects my own lack of expertise in the area of metric measurements (not to mention Biblical.) Like many of you, I was in public school in the seventies when the U.S. gov decided to get us on track with the rest of the world and switch us all to metric. It worked about as well as the "war on drugs" and our move toward independence from foreign oil.

All I'm saying is – God, don't be asking me to build the next ark unless you're going to explain it in feet and inches. Come to think of it, since you're all magic and ominipotent and stuff, why don't you just zap an ark into existence and tell me where to find it? Please make sure it has Internet, cable TV, and a decent-sized kitchen. Think "MTV crib" with animals.

13 comments:

Plan 9 said...

I don't know if you did this on purpose, but the image you used in your "religious screeds" link is a man named Reverend Billy of the Church of Stop Shopping.

There was a documentary on him a few years ago called What Would Jesus Buy which was a scathing look at consumerism around Christmas. I highly recommend it and from what I know of your politics, you'd like it too.

Tama Boyle said...

Your sorry nation's rank inability to conform to international measurement standards is an understandable source of shame to you. Your own ignorance of its simplicity and elegance must therefore be a doubly biting shame for yourself.

Ged said...

Does it really matter? Even full size could it really fit 2 of EVERY ANIMAL ON EARTH inside!

tommy said...

And that's why only cockroaches and other insects will survive the next flood; most mammals won't fit.

Not that it will matter if someone like Ned Flanders is in charge: "We've gathered up two of every animal on our ark-- although only males. We don't want any hanky-panky on board."

Lori said...

i remember when i was in about the seventh grade and we started to learn the metric system. the teacher told us that by the end of the decade we'd be measuring everything in metrics and if we didn't get with it we'd be left behind and made to look like morons. we all believed him. i believed him, until i went home and told my mother, who informed me she had heard the same speech when she was in grade school some thirty years earlier.

what i don't understand is why some things converted (soda, wine) but most others didn't (milk, almost everything else)

Shawn said...

Tama Boyle, You are totally right. I live in total shame and disgrace because I don't know the simplicity and elegance of your measurements. When I pour sugar into my measuring cups, I cringe and fight back tears. And gassing up my car? I wear a hat, large sunglasses and a trench coat so that no one will recognize me. You've no idea the utter devastation we go through. Your comment has merely scratched the surface.

Allan Koay said...

may i suggest you start following God on Twitter, to get all the latest developments on ark building?

Anonymous said...

piraro is the best!!!thanks dan..

patrick said...

Don't feel bad about not 'getting' the metric system. My wife is a high school art teacher and most of her kids can't even use a ruler measuring feet and inches. I grew up in the '70's, too, and we learned that part in elementary school. One thing I do like about the metric system is that the kilometers click by so nice and fast while driving, it gives the appearance that you are really getting somewhere.

Debbie said...

Well, I am a Mormon, but I got a laugh out of the cartoon. Keep them coming.

Thanks

Physics Guy said...

On behalf of science teachers everywhere: THANK YOU THANK YOU. Its a hoot. If you love units calculate how many US firkins in a cubic cemmatzotzopaztlis.

doug nicodemus said...

On the refrigerator

and cathy laughed too

Plan 9 said...

Debbie gets points for open-mindedness. Can't help but respect it.