Friday, January 2, 2009

Cowboy Comedy


Bizarro is brought to you today by Macho Menswear.

There are few things I enjoy poking fun at more than cowboys. I was raised around these folks in Oklahoma and Texas and have always found their odd mixture of macho posturing and obviously effeminate clothing (high-heel boots with jangly jewelry on the heels, pearl buttons, flowery two-tone shirts, wide-brim hats, a jaunty scarf about the neck, big flashy belt buckle) amusing.

Still, the one thing about cowboys that I've always liked, besides riding horses and shooting guns at people you don't like, is the clothes. I don't wear the hat or scarf or big-ass belt buckle, but I have a small collection of kooky vintage cowboy shirts and wear them often. I like the boots, too, (only the ones with slanted heels and pointy toes, not the clunky,stubby, farmy kind) but haven't found a good pair of vegan ones.

When I was a little kid, all I wanted to be was a cowboy. That notion was based on TV shows and movies, of course. I didn't realize that being a cowboy in modern times would mean driving a pickup truck instead of a horse, listening to country music (AAAAUUUUGGH!), living in the middle of nowhere, and trading your six shooter for a cell phone.

The only appealing things left are the shirts.

16 comments:

Jezzka said...

...but what about the handlebar moostashes??

Jeremy said...

Don't forget the extreme right-wing political stances you have to take to be a modern day cowboy. You also have to beat up gay people.

My favorite faux occupation from Family Guy is "Queer chaser and beater" which is what My Lynch describes his job as in Texas.

Josh said...

Jeremy: Do you buy into all stereotypes against people with differing political ideologies, or just the really stupid ones?

Jeremy said...

Just the stupid ones.

thedanmancan said...

modern "country" music is just pop.
i myself can't stand it either, but country music gets a bad rep.

artists like hank williams, patsy cline, merle haggard, johnny cash, buck owens and many more are important to the history of music.

rock music wouldn't exist without country (or blues, obviously) and modern "alt country" artists like jesse sykes and neko case are helping to carry the torch, unlike their "country" counterparts.

SAYOTTE316 said...

Rumor has it piraro beat up 6 guys at a bowling alley new years eve..

RIP MIKE DUFFUA
jeremy's friend

Gordon said...

The only thing that really bothers me about Texans is that they're all about being able to secede from the nation. Arizona already did it once... for a day. Seriously though, has anyone seen the prices on those boots? Not cheap at all.

Christina Awesome said...

I am from Texas and I am a very avid Texas fan. I get that it could be annoying though. I don't have a tattoo of it anywhere. Haha. But one thing I always liked about it is that there is actually a Texas History course that we had to take in middle school. Is there such a thing in other states, like, maybe, Vermont History?

manz said...

Christina Awesome--It's great that you are so into your home state of Texas and all, but yes, all states learn about their state's history. In California we mainly cover it in 4th grade, so I don't think we have a middle school class on California History, but still we learn about the missions, the gold rush, the Native Americans throughout the state, etc. I'm sure Vermont is proud of its history, too...

TF said...

Reminds of Back to the Future III

"He musta got that shirt offuna dead chinee!"

"What idiot dressed you up in those clothes, Marty?"
"You did"

Don't worry. I love those shirts.
Please don't hate me.

patrick said...

I don't partake in the cowboy aesthetic because I am not a cowboy. I grew up in the suburbs but went to a college with an ag program. I think a cowboy hat is something you earn the right to wear, not just put on (which is the adult version of playing dress-up as a cowboy). At my college, we'd refer to the other suburban kids who adopted the cowboy look as "suburban plowboys". Of course, I was into punk, which was just another type of playing dress-up.

PIRARO said...

danmancan,

I agree with your comment about country music. It's the Garth Brookses and Faith Hills that I can't stand. I like Johnny Cash and modern singers like Neco Case and Lucinda Williams.

b0b said...

Jeremy said, "Don't forget the extreme right-wing political stances you have to take to be a modern day cowboy. You also have to beat up gay people."

That's not true at all. Real cowboy singer/songwriter Scott Gerber breaks the political stereotypes. Scott rides a horse and herds cattle for a living, but he's very liberal politically and speaks out against any kind of prejudice. He looks the part and he lives it. Being a cowboy doesn't automatically make you a bigot.

Bashing cowboys is every bit as bad as bashing gays, IMHO.

chumgrinder said...

I live in a cowboy town. I moved here by choice. People here carry their cell phones AND their six-shooters. Being a cowboy just means dealing with cattle -- anything else you may or may not bring to the job is your own personal choice. Have some pudding, Dan.

jacob said...

Ive become a fan of your comics and blog over the last month and this will be my first comment. I couldn't resist on this topic. I live in Fresno, CA, a mix between suburban sprawl and farming community. Its funny all these grossly raised trucks and overly zealous cowboy styles and personalities are everywhere but rarely from anyone who actually farms or does anything cowboy-ish.

I understand the appeal in the lifestyle, there is something to living off what you grow and a hard day's work. But this culture has somehow seemed to oversee all this and demand the same respect you would give someone who has all these values, just because they went out and bought ridiculous trucks and listen to awful music. These are people without the values that built the style and appeal of being a cowboy. Ive met so many people who really try to drive it in how "cowboy" they are as if they are proving how hardcore they are. Your comic sums this up perfectly for me.

Seymour said...

I love cowboy shirts, anything cowboy wear. I spent more time when i am doing with cowboy wear.